


Return of Light

by 0077



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depressed Merlin (Merlin), Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Magic Revealed, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Panic Attacks, Parent Gaius (Merlin), References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2020-10-18 23:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20647589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0077/pseuds/0077
Summary: Aithusa attempts to change fate by showing the Once and Future King and Queen and the Knights of the Round Table all their secret protector has done for them. How will they react to the magic and the lies? With no more secrets between Merlin and Arthur, fate has changed but with they build the Golden Age or has that path been blocked forever?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my first attempt at writing a fanfiction so sorry if it isn't that good. It's not a very original idea but I have my own take on it and truthfully I just want to see a watch-the-show fic that gets past the first season lol. Anyways the only things you need to know is that this is set after S5 ep 3. Also Mordred is good! Sorry no Merthur but lots and lots of Bromance

Aithusa could feel something was wrong. That this wasn't the way it was meant to be. After being briefly reunited with her Dragonlord things were different. The very air seemed different. She had never felt so whole before. Something that she didn't realize was missing was starting to return to her. This was how she was supposed to feel all the time. She guessed this void in her very soul was caused by her stunted growth. She recalled vague memories of before her imprisonment. Of being free, of being with her kin, and of course, the teaching from her Dragonlord. Aithusa had often wondered if he ever looked for her. If he had given up or if he had still been looking. The look of shock and guilt in his eyes made her wonder even more. Then again he did send her away. She wanted it to be because he wanted to protect her. She couldn't help the small part of her that wondered if he didn't want a damaged dragon.

She hears Morganna stir in the next room. If she is to succeed she needs to leave before she wakes, otherwise she won't be able to make herself go. It hurts her to leave the one that was there for her but maybe, just maybe, if she can fix the path fate has set she can make things right. Perhaps she can even change Morgana's fate too. She tells herself she isn't leaving her. That she isn't abandoning her like they were both abandoned before. She has to go to Camelot. It's the only way to save her. To save all of them. Aithusa knows in her heart she must find her Dragonlord. Since she saw him it's all she can think about. She knows her Dragonlord. She saw the pain in his eyes when he saw what had become of her. He is a kind person with a gentle soul. He only wants her to be safe despite the fact he had not come for her. She shakes the memories off. Now is not the time to be distracted. Shaky and unsteady, she sneaks out of the ruins Morgana is hiding in and makes her way towards Camelot. Towards the ones who can change fate.  
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Arthur leaned back in his chair with a groan. He glared at the stack of reports and paperwork in front of him as if he could will it to complete itself. Deciding he needs a break, he watches Merlin wander throughout the room for a few minutes, cleaning this and that. Granted it's been done in his true Merlin fashion and everything is where it is convenient rather than where it would typically belong. After all these years this is how he prefers it. Not that he would ever tell Merlin that. 

Merlin sighed and turned to him. "You know you're not going to be able to finish that by tonight if you waste time watching me." Arthur would be annoyed at Merlin scolding him if he didn't see the plain amusement written across Merlin's face.

Arthur raised an eyebrow at him, "It's not like I'll ever get them all finished anyways. Half of these are ridiculous requests the nobles made just to waste some of my time. Every time I think I've made progress the pile gets bigger the next day."

Merlin just continues to give him a mildly amused look. "More work every day? Almost like being king is hard work," He replies sarcastically. Merlin shoots him a small smile before giving a pointed look back his paperwork and turning his back from the King. Arthur usually would respond with a quick retort to the slight taunt but he is struck by the fact that that small smile was the first one he had seen on his manservant in weeks. How had he just noticed that? Merlin the usually cheerful idiot hasn't given him that usually blinding grin in… how long has it been now? He knows that people change but this makes the unease he had been ignoring resettle in his stomach. Looking back it's blindly obvious that Merlin has been more reserved and less open for ages now. Even more so after the whole mess at Ismere and he knighted Mordred. 

Arthur glances up at Merlin again. Merlin still has his back to him and is gathering laundry as he walked around the room. Arthur decides to use this opportunity to really look at Merlin. He doesn't like what he sees. Merlin has built up some muscle over the many years of service but he still manages to look like he isn't eating enough, he is paler than he usually is and if the bags under his eyes are any indication he isn't sleeping well either. The knot of unease he is trying hard to ignore twists painfully in his stomach. Arthur isn't made for emotional discussions. He doesn't know how to ask if Merlin is sleeping enough or eating enough. Maybe he can ask Gwen to talk to him. Then again since Gwen became Queen, her and Merlin haven't been as close as they once were. Actually, if he really thinks about it, no one has been as close to Merlin recently. He wonders if this is because everyone became busier or if Merlin was purposely pushing them all away. Did anyone else notice the distance too or was he the last? Maybe they should go on a hunting trip. Merlin hates them, though he doesn't bother complaining as much recently, but they are a chance to get out of the castle. It is easier for him to be emotional outside these walls were anyone may notice. It wouldn't be proper to show such open care towards his manservant no matter how loyal. He is about the tell Merlin he wishes go on a hunt when he hears the door close. 'I'll have to ask him later. The one time the idiot decides to do his job.' He thinks. With a huff and a mental promise to talk to his manservant later, Arthur begrudgingly returns to his paperwork.  
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Merlin gave a weary sigh as he walked towards the laundry room, laundry basket precariously placed in his arms. He has no idea how one man can go through clothes so fast but if anyone can do it it would be the prat. Least this gives him a chance to check on the new serving boy that was giving Arthur a decidedly hateful glare last time he gave a speech. Of course that doesn't mean he is involved in some sort of plot against the king but he has stumbled upon far larger plans with less reason to be suspicious. Merlin feels his anxiety spike, so many people seem to have it out for Arthur. It's like he has magic sign above his head with please come murder me written above it in big bold letters. All it would take is one mistake, one slip up, one person he didn't notice and Arthur could be killed. Unconsciously Merlin starts walking faster until he feels something tug on the edge of his awareness. Quickly checking to make sure he is alone, he places a spell on the serving boy to alert him of any ill intentions before stopping and tentatively reaches out towards this new presence. It is familiar feeling and yet he cannot figure out how he knows it. Then all at once he is running out of the castle, dumping the laundry in the laundry room unceremoniously as he races through the halls. Merlin is in shock. His hands are shaking. He knows this presence. She actually came back. Aithusa is back and is heading straight for Camelot.  
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Admittedly Aithusa is not sure how well this plan is going to work. She spent the entire flight here trying to refine her plan, doing her best to think of every problem before she actually confronts it. It's all such a risk and there no guarantee it will even work at all. So many things could go wrong. The biggest issue is that she has to do it without her Dragonlord catching on to her plan. Though her memories are hazy and broken at best, she knows that the King does not know of her Dragonlord's magic and that he thinks it must stay that way. She hates the idea of even considering doing something her Dragonlord wouldn't approve of but this is the only way! She can feel it. She can feel it so strong she had no idea why it never occurred to anyone before. She knew that growing in that cage had stunted her but she was now realizing how much. A small flare of hope rose in her chest. Since she saw her dragonlord, no matter how brief that encounter was, she could move easier and she could fly longer without pain. Most importantly things were clearer to her now. She could see beyond just making sure her and Morgana survive. She is looking at the bigger picture now and what she must do to fix things is staring her in the face. She cannot fail everyone she cares about.

She feels a spark of recognition in her mind. She is close enough now that her Dragonlord has sensed her presence. She can feel an odd mix of joy and dread coming from their link. She takes a moment to marvel at how clearly she can feel his emotions seeping through even from this distance. She cautiously tries to send happy and calming thoughts towards him but she has no idea if it works. She supposes she will find out in a moment as she approaches the clearing where Kilgharrah often meets with their Dragonlord, where she was hatched. She feels a thrill of excitement go through her. It almost feels like coming and soon she would be reunited her dragonlord!  
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He knows his concern won't be welcome. He had all but forgot about her. Merlin has accepted this. But Aithusa has been with Morgana and was severely injured and deformed last he saw her. It was all his fault. He hasn't seen her for years! Years! Yet he never even thought to look for her. Sure he worried and wondered about her but he thought she was okay. Kilgharrah said young dragon hatchling were independent, that if they taught her to not show herself to people and to hunt she would be okay. He did that, he made sure she was taught to stay hidden and safe like he was taught when he was young. He was raised this way too of course he should've known better! It's not like he was any better as a child. If not for his mother watching him like a hawk, he would have gone and gotten himself killed as soon as he stepped out the door. Why didn't he think to check on her? Even since Ismere, he has been so preoccupied keeping an eye on Mordred and protecting Arthur that he didn't even try to win Aithusa back from Morgana. Not that he didn't want to but if something happened while he was gone he would never forgive himself. He supposed that was the problem wasn't it. He always put Arthur first. He was a failure as a Dragonlord. How can he call himself one when he put Arthur before his duty to protect the one who will one day inherit the title of the last dragon. The one he hatched himself. He knew his destiny was important, that Arthur was important but a part of him wondered what the point was. He would deny it if he was asked but he had no hope it would ever happen. That Arthur would never accept magic. How could he when he has turned him against magic forever? Why was he even still doing this? The answer was of course because Arthur was his best friend despite knowing he could never tell him of his magic. He would defend his King to his last breath for this reason alone. But this was his kin. The life he brought into the world himself. He loved Arthur and all his other friends in Camelot but he wouldn't abandon her. Not again. Until he made sure she was actually safe and healed he wasn't going to let Aithusa out of his sight.

The uneven flapping of wings in the distance snapped him out of his thoughts. Merlin watched as she landed unsteadily on the ground. He felt himself let out a small gasp as he took in the sight of her once more. Seeing her fully in the light only accentuated her deformities. Her legs were bent in awkward directions, her wings torn and painful looking, her face gaunt with an unhealthy red tinge around her eyes. She looked so stretched and worn. How could he let the one he named after light end up like this? Cautiously he walked towards her with his hand outstretched and ready to hold her like he did when she was just a hatchling. He wasn't sure if she would want him to touch her considering her reaction at Ismere. Before he could think about it too much, she was next to him. Her warm scales sending jolting his attention back to her. When she brushed against his hand and nuzzled into him just like she used to he couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face or the tears that misted his eyes but did not fall. She looked up and him and gave him a happy but broken sounding chirp. The sound grated on his ears and nothing had ever made him feel so happy and regretful all at once. He looked into his dragon's eyes his hand brushing across her head as if he was afraid his touch would hurt her. 

"Aithusa…" he started his voice almost hitching, "I'm so sorry. I should've looked for you. I won't ask you to forgive me but please let me help you. I will do everything in my power to heal you. We can ask Kilgharrah maybe he knows if there is a way to heal you. I promise you won't be alone again," His voice shook and his words came out awkward and rushed. He looked at her pleadingly. He barely dared to hope she would give him some sign of agreement, that she would let the one who abandoned her to make up for his mistakes.  
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As she lands, Aithusa does her best not the cringe from the amount of pain and sadness coming from her Dragonlord. For a moment she doesn't move towards him and just watches him look over her mangled body. She knows part of his pain is from seeing her and she hates that the bitter part of her that feels abandoned by him feels he deserves the overwhelming regret she is causing him. As the moment passes, her Dragonlord walks over slowly and reaches out towards her just like he has done many times before. Suddenly she is small and young and without pain again. She is taken back to the time her dragonlord used to come visit her, approaching in the same way, grinning at her, eyes shining with pride and adoration. When she jumped into his arm immediately he would start cooing over how much she has grown. She remembered the way he would watch patiently for her to show him all she has learned while he was away. Before she knows it she is next to him, feeling ashamed of all blame she feels, rubbing her head against his hand and trying to tell him with her eyes that she doesn't hate him, that she remembers, that she knows he is so very sorry. She feels both rewarded and punished when the sad smile he gives her causes another wave of his happiness and regret, oh so much regret, to wash over her. She desperately tries to think of a way to convince him that it's okay. That she is here now so he doesn't have to be sad. She chirps at him as she pushes her feelings of happiness over being reunited at their link hoping that he can feel it. 

Soon her Dragonlord is meeting her eyes.  
"Aithusa… I'm so sorry. I should've looked for you. I won't ask you to forgive me but please let me help you. I will do everything in my power to heal you. We can ask Kilgharrah maybe he knows if there is a way to heal you. I promise you won't be alone again." Aithusa freezes. A part of her wants to be upset at the confirmation that no one even looked for her. The rest of her can only focus on that last miraculous part of what her Dragonlord just said to her. There could possibly be a way to heal her body. She tries desperately not to hope, not to leap at the chance to know what is like to be without pain again. He… he promised not to leave her. He was going to stay by her side. Aithusa had given up hope that anyone but Morgana would ever be there for her. Despite herself that simple promise gives her a hope she thought she lost. She focuses on her Dragonlord again. Even if she couldn't feel the emotions through the link she could see the plain desperation on his face. His need to make things right. She closes her eyes and focuses on where his hand is still on the side of her head. His thumb caressing her head promising love and protection like only a caretaker can. She sinks into the warmth and comfort it brings and lets it ground her. If her plan is to work Kilgharrah cannot know. She isn't sure if it is ration or not but she can't help but feel that Kilgharrah would only have to look at her to know what she is thinking. He would try and stop her. He cannot be called. She reaches for the link again, the close proximity making her able to feel everything her Dragonlord feels. She tries her best to let herself drown in the emotions. She can feel just how defeated and sad her Dragonlord is. It's not just the state of her body that is bringing him pain. This pain is old and has festered like poison in him. He is so very close to breaking. No he is broken, he is close to shattering beyond repair. But he isn't there yet. Her plan must work. She steels herself. She cannot be healed. Not yet. First she must heal her Dragonlord, the one who hatched her, the one who gave her life. The is only one path she can take now. She tries to send words through the link. She has never tried to use words before, she can only hope he will understand. Her dragonlord startles slightly as she gives her request. He gives her a confused look and tilts his head slightly at her. She wonders if it is because her request is confusing or because she didn't send the message right. She begs please just let him understand.  
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Merlin tilts his head in confusion. His hand going still, stopping his unconscious attempt at comforting the young dragon. Images and broken sentences go through his head. Suddenly the random bursts of unusual emotions he felt earlier makes more sense. Aithusa has been sending them through the bond they share like how Kilgharrah sometimes calls out to him. However with Aithusa she can send emotions instead of words. He wonders briefly if that is because he hatched her so they have a closer bond or if Kilgharrah just chooses to never send any emotions over their link. Focusing once again he tries to make sense of it all. He sees the cave Kilgharrah was trapped in, he hears a young girl's voice but he can't make out the words. 'must be what Aithusa will sound like if I can fix her voice' he thinks distractingly. He tries to focus on what it's saying, closing his eyes in concentration. 

Slowly the words started to make sense. "We must go. Please. Heal." He opened his eyes to meet Aithusa's gold ones. They seemed to be willing him to understand. 

"You want me to take you to where Kilgharrah was chained?" He asks confusion still coloring his voice. Immediately an ecstatic confirmation flooded through his mind. Aithusa gave another happy chirp and despite his confusion he couldn't help himself as his smile grew a little bigger. She seemed almost smug that she got her message across. It was just like when she had her first successful hunt. She strutted around like a peacock for the next three days. Despite himself he found himself relaxing. Even with what she must have gone through, she hasn't lost that spark he loved so much. 

Not even trying to keep the fondness out of his voice he questions her softly, "Aithusa but why would you want to be there? It is where your kind were imprisoned." He makes sure to keep smiling softly to let her know that it wasn't a no to her request, just a question. Aithusa didn't send him an answer that makes sense, just a wave firm determination to go there. He looked over her again, despite being happy she still trusted him enough to ask him such a thing he still debated just calling Kilgharrah. He couldn't stand to see her in such pain. There was no way it could not hurt just to live with her body like this. However when he looked in her eyes and felt the amount of pure trust and pleading she was giving him, he knew he had just lost that battle. Deciding that maybe he could teach her how to better use the link to speak by doing, he sent through the link his agreement. Of course he also added the condition that they had to wait till nightfall so the guards had no chance of seeing. Immediately he felt agreement, relief and gratitude wash over him. He smile grew into a grin. The first true one he had in such a long time. He knew the chance of being caught was quite low since they could go through the unguarded back entrance that Kilgharrah escapes from. He was 90% sure they didn't even know it was there but wasn't taking any risks. He would not lose Aithusa again. He knew Kilgharrah wouldn't be able to make it here by nightfall so be decided he would call him after they completed whatever it is Aithusa wants to do. Maybe she knew a way to heal herself there but couldn't tell him. Nightfall was only an hour or so away now. Guess the prat was going to have to get himself ready for bed tonight. He'll make up some excuse later. Sighing and resuming his gentle petting, he made himself comfortable. For now he was more than happy to spend the time just enjoying time with the dragon he thought he lost. This time he would put her first. Nothing would get between him and his dragon. 

________________________________


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 or as I like to call it the one where Merlin and Aithusa battle to be the most self sacrificing and Arthur wishes magic could chill just once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Just so you all know I'm going to try to updated at least once or twice a week but we will see as school is starting again soon. Starting my first story right before school starts was probably a mistake but oh well. Anyways on with the story!

Aithusa watched as the sun went down. It would be time soon. She shifted her head carefully on her Dragonlord's lap. They were leaning against a tree on the edge of Kilgharrah's clearing. He had been stroking the spines on her neck, but before long his head nodded to his chest and his breathing evened out as the repetitive motion lulled him to sleep. She couldn't blame him. After such a long flight her she had almost fallen asleep herself. But a part of her was a bit disappointed he fell asleep but a much bigger part was relieved. She knew just how exhausted he was. Plus this was an act of trust. Her Dragonlord knew she had been with Morgana and she they were enemies. Yet he didn't seem to doubt her for a second. Because she asked, he didn't call Kilgharrah and decided to trust her. Perhaps he could feel her good intentions through the link. It made her feel slightly guilty but she just kept repeating to herself this was the only way. She can see the path set for them now. That would only bring pain. Even if she fails, she could do no worse. She must try.

Finally the sun sunk fully beyond the horizon. It was time to get moving. Only slightly hesitant, she gently nudged her Dragonlord awake. He woke with a slightly confused look before he seemed to remember where he was. He got up slowly, needing a moment to adjust to the darkness. Then with a fond smile and rub of her head he led her through the forest. She is glad at how comfortable the atmosphere is between them. Her Dragonlord still has traces of guilt in his eyes as he looks at her but he must be keeping it back so she can't sense it through their link now. She wants to keep talking to him. She has been incapable of talking for so long. She has so many things she wants to know, especially about her Dragonlord and his friends. Unable to help herself, she sends question after question through the link. It has been two years and this will be a bit of a walk. Her Dragonlord answers her patiently. The fond smile seems to only grow with her questioning. 

Aithusa giggles to herself. She seems to have stumbled upon her Dragonlord's favorite topic. Now that she has got him going, he tells story after story about his friends. Aithusa is learning much about them. She learns he doesn't want to choose because he likes them all but if he had to favorite knight he would pick Gwaine. However, Percival is the easiest to be around but she shouldn't ever tell Gwaine that because he will whine if you say anything. She learns that Merlin actually didn't learn how to cook well until he this third year in Camelot when became friends with Mary, who is one of the cooks. He had helped her son when Gaius was treating him for the Flu. Mary thought Arthur would treat him better if he could cook well on trips. He snorts to himself and tells her that will never happen even if he could cook better than Mary. He also tells her with muffled chuckle that his favorite memory he has with Leon was the one time Leon told him about a story from his days of training Arthur as a teenager. According to Leon, Arthur knocked himself out with a practice mace once. Aithusa wasn't sure what was so funny about the Once and Future King hurting himself during training but she happily watched as her Dragonlord was slightly bent as he walked while contain his laughter as quietly as possible. Shared amusement flowed back and forth through their link, Merlin's at his own stories, Aithusa at her Dragonlord's inability to tell any straightforward story. With their link he can laugh and talk at the same time, but Aithusa can't help but wonder if he can even tell a story only using his voice or if he would be too busy laughing at himself.

Even though she still has questions, she is happy she can joke and laugh with him again. Even more so now that she can communicate better. The memories of before her imprisonment were always bittersweet. She hadn't realized quite how much she missed him. It was like a hole she didn't know was there had been filled. However, she is out of time to dwell on that. They have made it to cave. She looks again at her Dragonlord. His mood seems to sober a bit at the sight of the cave. She knows it must be hard for him to take her here. Where there are bad memories and a risk they might be caught. She cannot let that stop them. She wants her Dragonlord to be happy and this is the best chance they have. He said he would protect her from now on, but she will also protect him. She will not fail.  
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Merlin is startled awake by something nudging him. For a second, he thinks he is late again and Gaius had to go wake him but then he remembers. Aithusa is back. He does his best to push back the swell of emotions that brings so it won't be sent through the link. As he gets up and his eyes adjust to the darkness. Looking at Aithusa he can see once again just how sickly she looks. He pushes those thoughts away. He is going to fix that. They will go to the cave and Aithusa will tell him how. He sends Aithusa a fond smile and can't help but affectionately pat her head before heading towards the cave.

Eventually Aithusa seems to get curious and starts asking him questions. Merlin can feel his smile growing with each one he is asked. Aithusa may not be able to jump around the forest like she used to but she is no less energetic. He thanks the Triple Goddess again that whatever happened to her did not break her spirit. He wants to ask what happened. He needs to know just how it came to this but he holds back. Last time he asked it made her afraid. He will wait until he heals her and she regains her strength. Obviously that will be a hard conversation for her. Until then he will answer all her never ending questions and tell her stories about himself and his friends. 

Somehow this quickly changes to just him telling story after story. He can't help it. Merlin can't remember the last time he was able to tell anyone about his adventures with his friends. Well at least the true version of their stories. The link is especially helpful when he can't help the laughter that escapes him. He hasn't laughed this hard in ages. He had forgotten how utterly ridiculous some of things they had done were. 

All too soon they are at the cave. Merlin sobers immediately even if he tries not to let it show. This is where Kilgharrah was imprisoned. While he is glad he is free now, so many were killed as a result. He fights against the regret and guilt that threatens to overcome him so Aithusa will not feel it through the link. She looks over at him and wonders if she felt it anyways. He feels a firm wave of determination flow through the link. He nods at her and let's his determination flow back. He wants to make her understand that he will go into this cave and anywhere else she asks. He has been given the chance to make up for his mistakes and he refuses to squander it. He has no time to wallow in these feelings so he does what he does best. He pushes those thoughts aside so he can complete the task at hand. 

Carefully he leads her through the winding passages. The cave itself isn't that big but if you aren't flying out of it, the way is winding and difficult. He wonders if Uther purposefully made it so the cave was big enough to hold a dragon but small enough that dragon could smell the air from the outside but never reach it. If nothing else he suspects that the chain was made purposely so Kilgharrah could only reach to where the air became less stale but not where you could see any light. 

Aithusa chirps to get his attention. He wonders if she could feel the anger he had been trying to press down. When he turns to her he realizes that they have come a lot farther than he thought. They are close to where he cut the chain off Kilgharrah. After Uther had discovered the Great Dragon had escaped he had the chains removed. Merlin isn't quite sure what happened to them. He hopes they were melted down. Though knowing Uther he probably repurposed them to hold some other magical person or thing. 

Shaking himself Merlin makes himself focus. Apparently we are close enough for whatever Aithusa wants to do. Aithusa sends him an image of him sitting over by the rocks near the staircase that leads to where he used to talk to Kilgharrah. He takes a second to wonder why he has to be sitting for this but he knows nothing about healing a dragon so he decides to just do whatever Aithusa tells him to. He is about to ask what he needs to do next when he feels Aithusa's breath mist over him and blackness overtakes him.  
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Queen Guinevere woke to the sound of a young girl's voice. Instantly she sits up in her bed, her husband still sleeping soundly next to her. She furrowed her eyebrows and squinted into the darkness. Had she just been dreaming of a voice? It had sounded worried.

She only has the wait for a moment before she hears it again. "Please come. You must help. Merlin is in danger," Gwen feels a shred of panic at the almost desperate tone of the voice. 

Quickly she wakes her husband. "Arthur get ready quickly. There is someone at the door and they say Merlin is in trouble" Arthur throws the blankets off himself immediately, worry and determination swirling in his expression. 

Knowing Arthur can ready himself despite what Merlin would say, she rushes to change into something she can move in easier. The girl didn't mention what kind of trouble Merlin so she must be prepared for anything. Behind her she can hear Arthur fiddling with his sword belt. Within minutes, both royals are dressed and ready. Gwen is in riding pants and a white shirt, while Arthur is in a casual red shirt with his sword belt attached to his black sleeping pants. Quickly she opens the door. To her surprise, she sees no one. Gwen frowns in confusion and Arthur leans out from the door to check down the hall. 

Then she hears it again. The young girl's voice echoes but she can't tell from where, it almost seems to be everywhere at once. "Downstairs, you must go downstairs. Hurry!" 

Arthur immediately starts heading for the staircase. Silently thankful she isn't the only one hearing things, Gwen follows just a step behind. Something feels wrong about this. She would go anywhere for Merlin, even if they haven't been as close lately. He was still her first friend and Camelot and she hasn't forgetten that. However, something is not right. Every time it seems like they should be catching up with whoever is leading them, no one is there. It's not a secret that both her and Arthur have something that resembles friendship with Merlin. She cannot help the small part of her that feels she shouldn't be doing this even as hurries down the stairs.  
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Aithusa takes a steadying breath. The reality of all what she is doing causes panic to flare in her chest. She knows this looks like she is doing a very bad thing. In fact, she kind of is doing a very bad thing, even if she is doing it for a very good reason. She glances at her unconscious Dragonlord leaning against the rocks where she had placed a sleeping spell on him. Carefully she tried to adjust him slightly so he would be more comfortable. The guilt is making not panicking even harder. She is betraying his trust even if it is for his own good.

Pushing those thoughts aside she refocuses on leading everyone to the hall above her. She wonders absent-mindedly if this is what a dog herding sheep feels like even until realizing that comparison is completely inappropriate right now. They are almost all gathered now. A part of her wondered if they all would come if she said Merlin was in trouble even though her call was fairly suspicious. She can't help but feel her determination solidify when they all come despite their various levels of wariness towards her. Despite whatever hopelessness her Dragonlord is lost in, it's not too late.  
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Arthur knew there was a good chance this was a trap ever since Guinevere opened their chamber doors and no one was there. Now, as he entered the hall at the same time as all of his trusted knights, he had no doubt this was a trap. He wondered if the voice had said the same things to them or if it had told them other lies before catching himself and telling himself to focus. Quickly he did a head count. Looks like Leon, Percival, Gwaine, Elyan and Mordred were also lured here. They all had various levels of confusion and worry on their faces which only doubled when they saw who else had just rushed into the room. Luckily, despite Leon being the only one who took the time to grab any armor even if it was just his chainmail shirt, they all had their swords. 

Feeling he would probably need it soon, Arthur drew his sword and stood protectively in front of his wife. Copying the action, the knights quickly but cautiously crossed over to him. The voice seemed to be done giving directions and the hall definitely appears empty but they had been led here for a reason. After a minute of nothing happening, Arthur decided to try to take control of the situation. Since this was undoubtedly the work of magic, he assumed that they would not be able to leave the way they came in. 

"Show yourself sorcerer. Why have you lead us here?" Arthur's voice sounded loud and commanding in the quiet that had taken over. 

Surprisingly the voice answered him, "There is something you must see. Something you must understand. It's the only way to save him." 

Arthur's stomach twisted once again. Merlin was actually in trouble. He had hoped that because he wasn't present that Merlin had just been used as an excuse to lure them there. He supposed he should know by now they wouldn't be that lucky. A small part questioned why the voice sounded so genuinely concerned even though it was obvious this was a trap now. It didn't have to pretend anymore. He put that thought at the back of his mind, what mattered now was whatever came next. He needed to keep his everyone safe and then figure out what happened to Merlin. 

Right as he was about to tell the voice that he does not negotiate with sorcerers, there was a blinding flash of light. Arthur closed his eyes instinctively, but when he opened them they were no longer in the hall. They weren't even in the castle. They were in a field he didn't recognize. Arthur guessed that the light must've transported them somehow. 

Without a sound, a white dragon came into view. Automatically, all the knights reached for their swords only to find they had not been transported with them. For some reason the dragon looked wrong. It took him a second but then he realized why, it didn't look healthy. It seemed almost twisted in some way.

The dragon met Arthur's eyes. "You have nothing to fear from me. I give you an oath on my Dragonlord that none of you will be harmed." The small girl's echoes throughout the field. 

Frustratedly he realizes that the sorcerer is still hiding. Normally by now they would reveal themselves and start talking about their plan to destroy him.

Skillfully, Arthur hid his emotions and kept his face purposefully blank. Whoever this is must be powerful to be able to transport them so far and to somehow command a dragon. He thought the last of the Dragonlords had died years ago. "And yet you still do not show yourself to us. I ask again, who are you and why have you taken us?"

He wasn't sure if dragons could look confused but this one was certainly doing a good job as it cocked its head to the side. For whatever reason, Arthur was reminded of Merlin when Arthur is asking him something that Merlin seems to think should be totally obvious. "But I'm right in front of you."

Finally understanding dawned on them. The voice was coming from the dragon.  
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Aithusa could feel they were right above her now. It was time. She stood in front of her Dragonlord and pressed her head gently against his so their foreheads touch. She sends an apology through the link although she had no idea if he could feel it when he was under her spell. She knew she could put this off no longer. Steeling herself, she hoped this wouldn't hurt him. She begins the spell, words not needed for a dragon. She pushes her magic outwards and lets it guide her to what she needs to do. Soon a white light starts to encompass them. Merlin would not be a part of this but she must have access to his memories. She had never really done magic before but she liked to think that somehow magic itself was helping her. That it didn't want this fate either and had decided to risk trying it her way. She took a deep breath and appeared before them. 

As soon as they noticed her, all of the knights instinctively reached for their missing weapons. She supposed she couldn't really blame them for that reaction. She did just steal them away in the middle of the night and, damaged or not, she was a good sized dragon. She gave them an oath on her Dragonlord they would not be harmed. She wasn't sure if they could understand how serious such an oath was but hoped that they would understand it was no idle promise.

She spared a glance at Mordred who looked awed and horrified all at once at her appearance. He was the easiest to get to the hall above. Mordred seemed aware her Dragonlord didn't trust him but wanted to protect him anyways. So all she told him was Emrys needed him to be in the hall immediately and he came. She was glad to have another with magic even if he had to hide it. For his loyalty to Merlin, she promised that she would help him escape if the other reacted badly to all this.

As he spoke, she turned her gaze back to him. "And yet you still do not show yourself to us. Who are you and why have you taken us?"

Aithusa was slightly taken aback. She knows the other probably know nothing about dragons but isn't it fairly obvious who is speaking to him? Cocking her head to side she couldn't help but blurt, "But I'm right in front of you?"

Again, she does her best not feel exacerbated by the horrified understanding looks she receives for that comment. They really should've figured that out by now. No wonder her Dragonlord called them oblivious. 

Unfortunately for Aithusa, Gwaine decides to speak up for the first time while glancing at his King. "Isn't that the dragon we saw at Ismere?"

Aithusa silently repeats a curse she heard Morgana say once. She isn't sure what it means but it felt appropriate. Of course one of them had decided to prove her wrong about the oblivious comment. She didn't think they got a good enough look at her to recognize her but how many other white broken looking dragons are there. She really should've considered this sooner. Truthfully she only has one thing she could say to prove her loyalty but cannot reveal her connection to Merlin yet. She feels some guilt but she knows she can side with her friend no longer. She only hopes she can change Morgana's path as well. 

Trying to look less intimidating, she lets her honest regret show, "Morgana told me that she was my friend. That she would be the only one who would take care of me. That her path was the only way. But I have discovered that she is wrong. That way will only lead to suffering for all. I don't want to harm her but I will no longer help her."

Out of all of them, well besides maybe Mordred, the Queen seems to believe her the most. Aithusa remembers they used to be friends. Perhaps she can relate. Suddenly, she regrets not including Gaius in the spell. Maybe he could've convinced the King to listen to her by telling him some half truth about Dragons. She knew he did the same her Dragonlord many times in the past.

Deciding the best thing would be not to let them linger on this, she continues on quickly, "Believe me or don't, that doesn't change the binding oath I gave not to harm you. The spell has already been cast. None of us can harm each other. All we can do now is watch and learn to understand. Even if I wanted to, I cannot change that now."

Waiting for their reaction, she wondered what her Dragonlord will do when this is over. She really hoped he will understand that she was only trying to help even if he thought what she did was wrong. Too late to have regrets now. She meant what she said. She can control the flow of the memories but she cannot stop it now. Only when they know all that magic decided they need to will the spell end.  
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Arthur had a lifetime of experience at court to thank for his mastery of control over the emotions he lets others see. He liked to think that nothing could less the torture could make him lose this control. However, the discovery that a dragon, Morgana's dragon no less, had apparently somehow put Merlin in danger, kidnapped himself and all those he considered closest to him and is now making them participate in some sort of spell was making him dangerously close just outright panicking. There was a part of him was angry at the situation, but at the moment he could only wonder why on earth the dragon thought they would believe for a second that it didn't mean them harm. It kidnapped them and threatened Merlin if they didn't cooperate! He supposed that even though some dragons can apparently talk, it didn't make them all that bright. 

"You can't really believe we will allow this? I am the King of Camelot and I will not participate in your spell. I demand you release us," Arthur mentally praised himself for not sounding panicked or exasperated at the situation.

The dragon merely shook its head at him. Again he is reminded of the resigned face Merlin makes when he has to repeat himself, "And I told you that none of us have the power to stop it now. Even if you distance yourself and refuse to acknowledge what you are shown, the spell will continue. However what I am showing will be useful to you. After the spell has ended there will be no more secrets between your allies or hidden by your enemies."

Feeling his frustration flare he was about lash out at the damn dragon stubbornness when he noticed Guinevere's warning look. It told him he was being an idiot and he can't fight a dragon when he had no weapons or armor to speak of. Feeling slightly foolish, he forced himself to take a moment to calm down. Out of the corner of his eye he took stock of his knights. Leon and Percival were successfully staying stoic and seemed to be prepared to fight however they can if they needed to. Gwaine seemed tense which was slightly out of character for him but he did suppose that the last time he saw this dragon he was captured underground. Mordred look vaguely horrified at the Dragon. The poor boy was completely white. Arthur really couldn't plan him. Technically this would be his first adventure as a knight. Besides the boy's obvious fear he held himself strong and seemed prepared to defend himself and others if necessary. Elyan was stepping in front Guinevere which Arthur couldn't help but be grateful for. Guinevere herself was handling this with all the grace a Queen could. Her face was composed and carefully blank and she held herself as if she faced no danger. He felt a swell of pride for how his wife and the knights were handling this. Their calm trust in him to decide what to do calmed his anger. 

Mentally sighing to himself, he wondered why he was even trying to fight this. If the oath was truly binding, though of course he had no guarantee of that, he would just have to wait for an opportunity to what… maybe knock the dragon out? Sneak away? Either way the best option would be to wait for an opportunity to show itself. 

"What is it you will be showing us?" He asked resigning himself. He ignored some of the surprised glances his knights were giving him at giving in so easily. They should know by now that in a hostage situation you should try to keep your captor talking. Only Leon and Guinevere kept their faces blank. He silently thanked them.

The dragon almost seemed relieved. It was weird seeing emotions on the beast. "We will be watching memories. Memories that will reveal the things you need to know to change fate."

Arthur only had time to wonder why all magic was so dramatic before a white light encompassed them and they were transported once again.  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we will actually begin to watch the show and start the great magic reveal! The chapters are also probably going to get a lot longer as well as I'm going to try to do one episode per chapter. The only exception to that will (hopefully) be the next one actually because there is going to be some more added to that. But I might make it one. We will see how long it gets. Anyways thanks for reading and again any comments, advice or criticism you have is really appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The memories begin! Arthur and the knights all get a taste of what life was like for Hunith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm sorry this took so long. I meant to finish this earlier but then I got injured and it made me fall behind in school. I just recently caught up. Anyways tho I'm fine now and will hopefully be back on schedule.

As the light faded, Mordred found himself in a village. Despite his travels and all the places his patrols have taken him he had never seen it before. Most of the others also seemed disoriented. Except for the Queen who seemed to have a dawning understanding on her face

"Ealdor! This is Ealdor but something is different."

Elyan looked at her confused, "Ealdor? Where is that?"

Arthur answered before the Queen could, "It's where Merlin grew up. It's in Odin's lands right on the border between here and Camelot."

The knights, excluding Gwaine and Leon, looked surprised at that. Merlin was such an integral part of Camelot they never guessed he had ever been anywhere else.

The young dragon spoke again, effectively scaring all of them, "Correct. This is Camelot about 25 years in the past. No one here can see or hear you. You can touch no one and change nothing."

Mordred tried to not let his dread show. He hoped none of them noticed the slight tremble in his hand. If he was right about the spell that had been done then they were going to watch Emrys's past. Emrys once said to him that he had been literally born with magic. He had no clue how old Emrys was but there was no way they would get through this without seeing him do magic. The dragon was going to reveal him to everyone! Mordred tried to block the panic as he realized this could make or break the entire future of Albion.

Arthur's voice cut threw his thoughts, "How do we know this isn't a trick? All the things you show us could be lies?" The king was rightfully skeptical. Mordred knew he could confirm the spell but he had no idea how to do that without revealing himself. He almost gasped out loud when he realized that he probably would be revealed anyways by later memories since Emrys knew of his magic. To put it simply,he was scared out of his mind.

The dragon, apparently had no such fear. In fact she was doing her best impression of Emrys when be was saying something he knew would be ignored, "While I am aware that nothing I say can make you believe me I'm sure you all can confirm with others afterwards that the memorized are indeed true. Believe what you will but know that I swear to you that what I show you is the truth." While Emrys rarely would speak like that he couldn't help but wonder if the other would figure out who her Dragonlord was based on her expressions alone.

While Arthur seemed unimpressed by the Dragon, the Queen seemed to at least be considering the possibility, "What memories will we be seeing here? Merlin's?"

The dragon seemed to almost smile at the question. He thought that a smile would look somewhat disturbing on a dragon but in actuality it was somewhat cute.

"You are wise Queen Guinevere. I'm sure you can find what we are here for."

Mordred felt his heart drop. This was actually happening. He wished he could get a moment alone with the dragon if for no other reason than to ask why on earth she thought it would be a good idea to bring him into this let alone do this in the first place!

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Guinevere frowned ever so slightly as she thought about the questions before turning and heading for Hunith's house. She knew Arthur and the others would follow, Arthur did already seem to agree to go along with this to an extent. The house was exactly the same except seeming a little less worn now. The sun was slowly setting and she could see that a candle had been lit inside. As she walked she took a moment to wonder how old Merlin would be. She had never asked him since most commoners don't keep track of their age. As she approached the door she hesitated. Should she just go in? If they couldn't touch anything could she even go inside? As if to answer her question the dragon promptly walked through the door, quite literally, giving her a look that could only be interpreted as amused as it passed by her. Trying not to let the dragon unnerve her, she followed with all the queenly grace she could muster.

Hunith was younger and quite beautiful though she seemed saddened by something. She was holding a small baby who couldn't be older than 3-4 months. Gwen blinked in surprise. Merlin was 25? She had always assumed he was the same age as Arthur. Though three years wasn't a huge difference it was a bit surprising. None of the others seemed to react to it. She guessed that Arthur hadn't done the math yet to realize that would mean that Merlin would of been around 17 years old when he came to Camelot. 

Hunith continued to gently rock baby Merlin. Gwaine seemed the most at ease with the situation. He kept trying to peek at Merlin as Hunith paced slowly around the room. She couldn't blame him, baby Merlin was quite cute. What she couldn't figure out is why Hunith seemed so sad. The longer she looked the more worn Hunith appeared. There were bags under her eyes and though she was humming softly she seemed almost on the verge of tears looking at her child.

The scene was broken by a women hesitantly coming into the room. "Is he still ill?" She asked. 

She looked as Hunith was am almost pitying expression. Hunith however almost seemed terrified by her entrance. As quick she could without waking him, she put Merlin in his crib and started to usher the new woman out. 

"Yes and really you must leave. I appreciate all you have done for me Anne but you have a son to look after too. You cannot get sick."

The woman easily escaped Hunith's grasp, "Enough of that Hunith. After all you've been through do you really think I'd leave you alone? You are stuck with me."

Without letting Hunith have another word Anne immediately started helping out, picking up things and cleaning. Gwen expected Hunith to relent and give her that amused smile that she had given Gwen when she insisted on helping. Instead the fear in her eyes only deepened and she tried again, "Really Anne I'm fine. Please you have to go." 

As she spoke, she accidentally knocked a cup off the table next to her. Leon, who happened to be next to her, tried to catch it but it went through his fingers. The sound woke Merlin and he started to cry. Panicking, Hunith rushed over to calm him. Before anyone could react, the baby's eyes glowed gold and the cup reversed back onto its place on the table. Everyone stared at the baby in utter shock while Hunith looked at Anne with a terrified expression.

Gwen could not believe what she was seeing. Did Merlin really just use magic? As a baby? She didn't know babies could even use magic. Suddenly Hunith's fear made sense. If this was true then that baby by law would be sentenced to die. The thought made her nauseous. What if that were her child? Oh gods. 

Before her thoughts could spiral further Hunith's desperate plea interrupted her thoughts, "Please he is just a baby. It's not his fault please. I can't lose him too. He is all I have left."

Hunith was trembling now. Gwen had the presence of mind to worry she may drop Merlin. Anna's expression was unreadable but eventually she just muttered a small curse before quickly going and enveloping both Hunith and her baby in a hug.

"Hunith how could you think for a moment that I would turn in your baby? We both know magic isn't evil. I could never do that to either of you."

Hunith's only started to shake harder as she shook her head, "If they find us and discover you knew they could kill your family as well. What of Will? He is only a year old."

Anne moved back enough to hold Hunith at arm's length and look into her eyes, "Now listen here and listen well because I wont say this again! You and your man saved both my son's and my husband's life. If you think for a moment any one of us is just going to leave you on your own you are mistaken." She paused as she shook Hunith gently and gave her a small smile, "Your family protected mine even when it put your lives at stake. Now it's time to return the favor."

Hunith seemed to relax a bit at that but she still stared down at her son in her arms in despair, "What am I to do Anne? Merlin will never know peace. He was born with a death sentence. I will have to teach him not to trust or be himself. What kind of life will I be able to make for him? I know nothing of magic. Only the basics that Bal-I mean he only taught me the very basics of magic before he was driven away. I can't lose him Anne but can I condemn him to such a life?" Hunith looked upward at her friend with such hopelessness that it made Gwen feel sick all over again. "Anne I don't know what to do. Why did this have to happen to him? He is just a baby"

Anne just shook her head and hugged the now sobbing Hunith with tears of her own in her eyes. 

"You mustn't think like that Hunith. People aren't stupid. Most folk around here know magic isn't dangerous even if it's foolish to say so publicly now. Uther's men venture over the border less every day. Magic isn't illegal her technically. It will not be a perfect life but we can make him happy even if it will be a life full of secrets. Ours is not so different is it not?"

Hunith's sobbing eased slightly. She just leaned against her friend. Gwen could just barely make out her hushed thank you before she couldn't take it anymore and walked out of the house. Merlin had magic. People, babies even, could not have a choice and be killed for it. How can Merlin stand it here? He must have heard every one of them call magic users evil or monsters. How could be so caring and gentle when this was the reality he was born into? 

Arthur slowly came up to her and wiped away the tears she didn't even notice she shed. His expression was so conflicted. He looked half horrified and half angry and yet still concerned for his wife. She wanted to wipe away that anger. It obviously wasn't Merlin's fault. If she were him she wouldn't have done any of the things he had done for them.

"What if it was our baby?" The question left her mouth before she even realized she had been wondering it since Merlin's eyes flew gold. 

Arthur looked like he had been kicked in the gut. Without a word he pulled her into a hug. 

"It could all be a trick." He murmured into her hair. Though the words were an empty argument and they both knew it. Nevertheless, she shook her head against his chest. 

He pressed his face into her shoulder, his voice sounding so very small, "I don't know what to do either."

Gwen took a step back and looked straight into his eyes, "Now listen here Arthur. Yes, this could be a lie but we both know its probably not. Even if it were we cannot ignore the possibility of innocents being born with magic as rulers of Camelot. Once we escape this spell we are going to research if that is true. We are also going to ask Merlin if he had magic and if he does we will judge him for his actions not his magic because it wasn't his choice." 

Arthur looked down, eyebrows knitted, "And if he is plotting? If he is betraying us just like Morgana? Magic could still corrupt. I don't want to think him evil but I didn't believe it about her either."

She hated the defeat and fear in his voice but couldn't fault him. "Then I know you'll make the right choice. You are a great King Arthur. I know you that if magic doesn't corrupt then you will blame yourself for every sorcerer who has ever lost their life to Uther's laws but know it is not you who is to blame. I know that you will do everything in your power to right this wrong and me and the rest of Camelot will be right there to support you. 

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Gwaine was sure his heart had broken the moment he saw Merlin's Mom's terrified face but then he knew it actually broke listening to her words. He had never heard someone sound so utterly devastated. He had felt betrayed by Merlin and the lies he must have told for exactly one second. One second until a mother's begging for her child's life reached his ears and shattered those thoughts completely. Merlin would have been raised in an environment were lies were survival. Gwaine knew about that, after his father died survival meant doing many things he would have never done before and lying was one of many things he learned to do to make sure his family was fed.

Gwaine tore his gaze away from the crying women to see the others reactions. Guinevere looked utterly mortified. Leon looked like he was going to be sick and Gwaine was pretty sure it wasn't because someone with magic had been in the Kingdom so long. Percival and Elyan looked stunned. He supposed that made sense, he had suspected Merlin of having magic before but didn't think he could stand lying to King. That sure showed him. Mordred looked sad and resigned and Gwaine wondered if perhaps a family member of his had been killed for having magic. Finally Arthur, Gwaine braced himself for this one. Arthur looked… well it was best to say confused to put it lightly. He had just watched something that would effectively put everything he thought he had known since a child on it's head. Gwaine was slightly relieved to see that though Arthur looked angry, he also looked equally if not more sickened at the idea of Merlin being killed. Least that was his hope. When Guinevere couldn't stand it any longer and left, Gwaine decided to make sure they had some time before anyone followed them. 

Instead he turned his attention to the dragon. It seemed to be equally upset by the scene but doing it's best to hide it. He decided to ignore that strange reaction since he had more important questions.

"Why show us this?" Gwaine couldn't bring himself to care about the slight pained tone in his voice.

The dragon didn't look at him as it replied, "Because you need to understand. Not just Merlin but all the others. While some sorcerers undoubtedly use their magic for evil, magic itself and those who have magic are not. They can be good and bad just as all mortals. But that is not the whole reason. You will find out in time." 

Gwaine just nodded to that. This was all too much. A part of him was angry that this dragon endangered his friend just to make a point but another part felt like there was more to it than that so he held back his anger. Instead he promised himself that if it came to it, he was going to protect Merlin at all costs. He didn't deserve this. He was going to find a place where Merlin could finally be safe to be himself even if it killed him. 

Percival spoke up, his voice quiet and pained, "I always knew magic wasn't evil. I traveled around before coming to Camelot and saw it used for good. But living here I forgot. How many could I have saved from living in fear like this if I hadn't forgotten?"

Leon got distinctly greener. There were actual tears in his eyes. Gwaine also felt his heart drop. He had convinced himself that the other sorcerers had been killed because they were evil but how many were actually? 

The dragon let out a loud squeak to get their attention, "Listen well knights. I will likely have to repeat this to your King and Queen but I know that I don't blame you and Merlin doesn't either. I have his memories so I know." She gave them all a sweeping look that showed how serious she was, "Yes, Camelot has much to make up for but you thought you were defending your home. You were misinformed. Most would be would think it a miracle if you simply repented and didn't kill an innocent magic user again."

The knights all stared at her in disbelief. Gwaine supposed the dragon never said they would forgive them but still it had to harder than that. He didn't think he would have the strength to ever be content with that.

The King and Queen returned to the room looking subdued. Gwaine thought they looked as though someone had just died. He hoped for all their sakes it was because they had a lot on their minds and not because they had been deciding Merlin's fate. Hunith was returning the yawning baby to the crib now. Anne was right at her side with a hand on her shoulder whispering comforting words. When she promised to protect Merlin and Hunith with all her heart, Gwaine promised too.

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The world went white again but they were still in the house. However, things had been moved around. The main difference was Merlin now had a very odd looking crib that replaced his old one. Aithusa looked around the group as the King and Queen returned. Honestly this was a best case reaction. No one had called for her Dragonlord's death yet. She had no doubt it would happen eventually if their continued conflicted expressions had anything to say. 

Hunith was playing with a now 1 or 2 year old Merlin. The baby laughed and shrieked as his mom mimicked him flying through the air. Aithusa wondered if this was part of why her Dragonlord loved flying so much. She couldn’t help the fond expression on her face while watching the child that would grow into the man that raised her. 

The others were still looked pale and a tad green. She wondered if it was the implication that hundreds of innocents had been killed or if it was because of the perceived betrayal by her Dragonlord. The knights were taking it as well as she could hope but she had no clue what the King and Queen talked about. Gwaine seemed to be recovering the quickest. An amused expression creeping on his face as he watched Merlin play.

Before anyone could completely relax, Anne came in looking scared. 

“Hunith quickly you must hide him. There are knights heading towards the village.”  
Without a word Hunith quickly grabbed a cloth and vial from a nearby cabinet. Anne started hiding baby toys and anything else that would indicate that anyone but Hunith lived here. Hunith then took the now wet rag and held it to Merlin’s nose. He struggled for only a moment before going lax, apparently asleep. Aithusa felt saddened. While they never had to drug her she was quite familiar with a happy scene dissipating in a moments notice when you had to hide. The sounds of hooves could be heard and Anne shot Hunith a worried look before heading outside. Without wasting a moment Hunith put her baby in the crib and pulled a cover over it. There was a small gasp she was pretty sure came from Gwen. It was quite clever, the crib now just looked like an unassuming dresser. 

For the first time, Hunith hesitated. She looked pained as she slowly forced herself towards the door. Aithusa was slightly torn, it was obvious that they should watch what was happening outside but she didn’t want to leave. The others all looked suitably shocked and would most likely look for her to guidance about staying or leaving. She couldn’t risk them losing any important information, this was the past, even if something did happen to her Dragonlord she couldn’t stop it. Determined, she followed Hunith. She was rewarded with the sounds of others following after her.  
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Leon has never been so confused in all his life. Magic users didn't have a choice in having magic. But he knew some that obviously learned magic and weren't born that way. Maybe not all of them were born of magic and some weren't? He supposed that seemed logical enough. Then did magic corrupt? He had never met a good sorcerer that was an adult before so he supposed it could be like an infection disease that some were born with. However that didn't make sense either because Merlin wasn't evil. Even if he had secrets Merlin couldn't be planning on overthrowing Arthur! If he wanted, all he would have to do is stop saving his life. Leon could think of at least three times Merlin has saved Arthur's life just off the top of his head. So no he supposed then magic didn't corrupt. Then what? Good magic users just remained hidden like Merlin so they wouldn't be burned at the stake? Actually that is the only answer that makes sense. He wondered how many of the magic users he has killed have been innocent and how many have actually been intending harm. Faces from the past start to come to mind as he tries to guess which were innocent and which were guilty. 

Before he can get too lost in thought the door slams open and Anne is warning Hunith of knights coming into town. Then Leon is confused all over again. He understood that if the knights saw the baby do magic they would drown him per the law (he tried not to be sick again at that thought) but why on earth did Hunith have to DRUG her baby and hid him in some secret crib. He knows Merlin is a baby so it's not like you can tell him not to do magic but why did she have to hide the fact she has a baby altogether? Leon can't help but wonder if this is actually all a trap to drive them all insane from the questions this brings up.

The dragon starts following Hunith so in what has to be the most insane and yet the only natural thing to do in this situation, he follows the talking dragon after Merlin's Mom 25 years in the past. Leon shakes his head to clear it. The less he thinks about the situation the better. It's best to just adjust and move on as if this isn't all literally impossible.

The others seem to have similar thoughts because no one said a word as they all follow Hunith out into the center of the village. The whole village waits, all looking concerned. Three knights start riding into view. The knights, surprisingly, are from Camelot. Leon has no doubt the reason they are here is only going to make him more confused and troubled. 

"Which one of you is Hunith?" Demands one of knights. Leon doesn't recognize him which is somewhat surprising. He does recognize the other two. Their names are Horace and James. Horace is retired now but James still serves although probably not for much longer as he is getting closer to retiring age. All the knights have a grim expression on their face.

Anne and Hunith share and look and it almost seems like Anne will step forward instead before Hunith stops her with a glare and steps forward herself. 

"That would be me sir." She looks every bit the confused and innocent commoner if not for the steely determination in her eyes.

"We have been ordered by King Uther to search your home in search of a wanted criminal of Camelot."

"But sir this is not Camelot"

Behind the unknown knight, Horace scoffed. He always did think little of commoners, especially ones not from Camelot.

"We have already had an agreement with your King. If you do not comply we will be forced to put you under arrest then search your home anyway. Please make this harder than it has to be" 

Out of the corner of his eye, Leon saw Gwaine's hand for a fist. He had to agree that he really didn't like seeing Hunith treated this way either. 

Hunith's mouth thinned to a line, "Follow me then sirs."

The knights did the same search techniques that Leon had been taught. He couldn't help but glance at the hidden crib nervously. Hunith had no reason to hide a baby. He wondered again why she didn't want the knights she had a child. It seemed like less of a risk then hiding him completely like that. Leon felt his heart stutter a little as Horace came up the hidden crib. The others all looked increasingly nervous as well, including Arthur. Before he could wonder further how Arthure was taking this, Horace start to search the "dresser". He pulled open the bottom drawer, which surprisingly contained clothes. He tried to open the second one which had to fake for Merlin to fit and he couldn't open it. Leon felt himself go a little paler. 

Hunith was the epitome of resigned annoyance yet showed no anxiety, "That top drawer hasn't opened in years don't bother. Not like I can hide the man you are looking for in there anyways. You already checked there the first time you came here." 

Horace glared at the woman, "Just got to make sure the rumors of you and that bastard weren't true." His face split into a mocking smile, "After all we can't be sure he didn't leave any demon spawn behind. Tell me Hunith, did you take in sorcerers because you loved whoring yourself out to them?"

Leon felt his jaw drop. He had never known Horace to talk like that even if he did look down on commoners. Hunith however just smiled back at the man, although it wasn't the warm one he saw her look at her son with. No this was cold and warning.

"I'm not sure considering I never helped any sorcerers. It's been almost two years now. How does it feel to be so off target you are searching the house of a single woman who has never even met the man lucky enough to have the dumbest knights in all the Kingdoms searching for him? Does this look like a house with a child in it? I'm not even married!"

Horace's mocking smile was replaced with a sneer, "Just because we cannot prove you have been helping sorcerers doesn't mean we don't know it's true. If Sir Alard hadn't ordered us to find more concrete evidence you'd have already been hung." 

With that Horace left, James right behind him with a glare at Hunith. The unknown knight stopped in front of her, "Don't worry I won't let them convince anyone you had anything to do with you know who. Sorry I couldn't give you more warning, however next time hide this better." He handed her a babies teething toy, "Gaius says hello by the way." Hunith quickly snatched the toy and shoved it into a nearby drawer. 

She gave him a grateful look, "You were always better a man than them Alard. If he was here he would thank you but since he is not please accept my thanks instead." Her face shifted to annoyance even if her eyes looked amused, "Please tell my brother I would appreciate it if instead of saying hello he gave me more advice on how to raise a magically one year old." 

Leon blinked. Gaius is Hunith's brother? How and why did Merlin hide that! He hoped that would make sense later like the hiding the baby thing did now. 

Alard gave her an amused chuckle, "All be sure to tell him, discreetly of course. Now I have to get back to those two before they accuse some random person of having magic and stabbing them. I swear this whole nightmare just made every bloodthirsty maniac try to be a knight." The contempt in his voice only got thicker as he spoke. Shaking his head he went after them. 

Hunith gave a nervous glance at the "dresser" but made no move until she could hear the sound of the knights leaving. Immediately she undid the cover and pulled Merlin into her arms.

"I'm so sorry baby. I promise I will never let them find you. Please forgive me."

Leon felt his heart break a little for the woman. Had she known anything but fear when it came to raising her son? From what he could make of their conversation, whoever Merlin's father has been driven off by Uther's orders too. If not for Camelot's laws would they have been a happy family? Before anyone said anything the world went white again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it. I actually never intended to go into Merlin's childhood but I ended hating trying to start from ep 1. I dont know if I actually like how this turned out but hopefully it isnt too disappointing. Really hope you guys dont hate how I made Arthur react. But honestly I always thought that if he found out like this he wouldnt really be angry just more confused and conflicted. Like Bradley said in an interview Arthur would react best if he found out without Merlin knowing and had to decide for himself what this means. Anyways please let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I'm back from the dead! Sorry life punched me in the gut but hopefully wont go away for months again. Anyways to make it up to you I'm gonna post again really soon. Sorry! I hope you all still want another chapter.

Mercifully, when light faded they were back in the field they had started in. Arthur didn't think he could possibly handle another memory right now. Not when it felt like everything was crumbling around him. 

The clearing was slightly different this time. There was a campsite set up with a sleeping space for each of them as well as a small fire. Looking closer he could see there was food ready for them as well. He wondered vaguely if he should trust the food but he doubted there would be all this setup just for the dragon to poison them. The dragon located itself on the outskirts of the fire across from the food. 

"I thought you all could use a break to discuss or rest or eat. You are not actually travelling but that doesn't mean your body can handle all the memories at once."

Arthur couldn't decide if he should use the reprieve to get his thoughts in order or question the dragon. Guinevere, bless her, took the choice out of his hands, "Where is here exactly? What has happened to us?"

The dragon seemed somewhat surprised by the question, "I will do my best to explain. You are in Camelot exactly where you saw the light for the first time. I haven't moved you I'm just showing you images in your mind. This is more of a vision. However showing you all at once would be very overwhelming. There will be many more revelations.”

Arthur suddenly remembered why it was a terrible idea to ask the dragon questions. Everything it said sounded vague and completely untrustworthy. After the last memory however, apparently he could not trust his own judgement on what is realistic. "So we just appear in a trance of sorts? Camelot will be up in arms when they discover us. They will not rest till they cure us" He said trying to sound reasonable.

"Not quite. You will appear to be in a deep sleep. As for Camelot being up in arms, this won’t be for long. Time is actually passing much faster than it appears. When you wake up it will have only been a few hours. If someone found you I'm sure the guards will be put on high alert but you will wake before they can do more than search for intruders or clues and give you all a quick medical assessment." The dragon said this slowly, like speaking slowly would mean they understood it more. Arthur really had no response to that.

"How are the memories being chosen? You said we would be watching Merlin’s memories but that seemed to be Hunith. Merlin was just a baby, he can’t possibly remember that." Gwaine asked sounding pained, like he really hoped Merlin couldn’t remember. Arthur really couldn't blame him for it. He wanted to reassure him this wasn’t real but he couldn’t help the small doubt. It wouldn’t be the most shocking thing he had heard today.

The dragon gave him a look that was close to apologetic, "I made the spell to show you all you needed to know but I left it up to be interpretation. It could be showing you what Merlin thinks you should know, answering questions you have unconsciously, or what magic itself thinks you should know. I felt I did not know the situation best to decide which memories to pick. And no Sir Gwaine, Merlin does not remember the memories you have witnessed so far. However, the nature of the spell deemed it important you witness them."

Gwaine did not look appeased by that answer but fell silent anyways. 

A surprisingly harsh whisper broke the silence, "Why are you doing this?"

Mordred's voice was impressively steady considering he had looked terrified this whole time. 

The dragon gave a weary sigh and paused before looking Arthur straight in the eyes, "Because everyone here has been misinformed and I mean more than about magic. I can't give you all the answers but I know that if we stayed on this path it would only lead to destruction. This is my gamble to change all that, for the sake of Albion."

Arthur broke the gaze only to see Mordred's eyes go wide as if catching some hidden meaning Arthur certainly didn't. To him this all sounded incredibly cryptic. Why couldn't the dragon just give him a straight answer?

"If you have no more questions I will leave you all to rest for a while" The dragon said softly. 

Arthur wondered why his captor would leave them then he realized they had nowhere to go… apparently this was all in their head. He valiantly resisted the throw up his hands in frustration. The whole situation is too insane and frustrating to comprehend. After a beat of silence the dragon took off, flying away on a slightly awkward uneven flight. 

There was a blessed silence for about 5 minutes before, "So are we just going to ignore what we just saw?"

Gwaine looked so uncharacteristically serious and was staring right at Arthur. Arthur felt all his frustration explode out of him full force, "What Gwaine? What could we possibly talk about? This cannot even be real! Even if it was then what would we talk about? That Merlin may have magic? Why should any of us believe that? Merlin isn’t a traitor! If Merlin had magic even he wouldn't be stupid enough to come to Camelot! Magic CORRUPTS Gwaine! Look at Morgana! There is no way he wouldn’t be corrupt yet!"

Gwaine just shook his head, “That’s just it. What if it doesn’t?”

Arthur shook his head angrily, “Gwaine you have seen the destruction magic has caused! That all changes because a dragon says Merlin has magic? That goes against everything I have learned, everything Camelot has gone through.”

He took a breath to calm himself. He looked around the faces around him. Leon looked pale and was shaking his head slightly. Percival looked pale and conflicted. Elyan looked like he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how. Mordred looked terrified again and wasn't looking at him but straight at the fire. Guinevere was right at his side, slipping her hand in his. Her gaze was understanding but sad. He knew she wanted him to listen to Gwaine even if it didn’t make any sense. He tried to take her support to get the strength to go down this road. Gwaine was still looking at him, still determined. He knew that he was just waiting for him to calm down for a moment before he continued his argument. He wasn't sure if he could handle ever acknowledging all this let alone come up with an argument against it in the few short moments he had before Gwaine decided he had enough time.

He tried to gather himself but he didn't want to face this. He hated the doubt the most. Since the incident with the Druid child he had wondered if the law against magic was necessary. He knew his father could be cruel. Didn't Merlin just save him from the ghost of Uther? His father tried to kill him. His own father. His own father said he would kill him and it was for Camelot. He pushed those thoughts away. Even if his father had made mistakes, Arthur had seen the evils of magic and its corruption. This entire situation was obviously a trap. The dragon's motives made no sense and it was last seen with Morgana. It was just like her to try to turn them against each other. 

Pulling his thoughts together he decided to cut off Gwaine, “I already spoke with Guinevere about this. We will not overlook the idea that some may be born with magic nor and research will be done into its actual corrupting power. However Gwaine, you cannot expect me to just trust this. This is a spell, done by a dragon. Not only a dragon but a dragon last seen by Morgana by your own confirmation. Until I have solid evidence we should all take this with a grain of salt”.

Gwaine seemed slightly shocked by his response which he tried not to feel offended by. His wife however, was sending him a look of pride and adoration. He felt the panic and confusion ease slightly at this. If there was a plan then they could get through this. The rest of the knights seemed comforted by this decision as well. Mordred still seemed incredibly twitchy but Arthur couldn’t blame him. The first kidnapping by a random act of magic was always the worst.  
_____________________________________________

After she let the group rest for a while, they reluctantly started preparing themselves for what was to come. Aithusa could tell they were all in begrudging acceptance towards the spell after hearing their king come to such an agreeable decision. She felt slightly bad for overhearing but honestly they weren’t even in an actual place. She could fly as far as she wanted, they were still all in the same headspace. Aithusa couldn’t help the hope that had crept up on her after hearing Arthur speak. She was a tad ashamed to admit she had not expected that reasonable of a response. After she decided they had enough time to think and eat she flew back towards them. The awkward tension immediately returned to its full height at her reappearance.

She really didn't want to break the silence or deal with more questioning but she asked anyways, "Now that you've had some more time is there any more questions before we begin again?"

The knights all shifted uncomfortably. She watched them look between themselves and the King as if unsure they could ask her anything. She couldn't help the slightly incredulous expression from crossing her face. The King, Queen and Sirs Gwaine and Mordred all asked her questions earlier. She really didn't understand the bravery of knights if they couldn't muster up the courage to ask a question. She knew she was a dragon but she was also a young girl. 

She was about to just get on with it when Elyan spoke up for the first time, "During my travels, I heard many legends of dragons and dragonlords. They spoke of dragon’s wisdom, honesty and knowledge of the future. They also said that dragons all had unique names given by their lord." Eylan took the surprised looks on the others faces without flinching, "I was wondering if they were true. Do you have a name?" He said it all while looking straight at her. She had to admire his courage.

Aithusa smiled softly. She felt a bit silly about how excited this made her. She had never gotten to tell anyone but Morgana her name. It had taken so much effort since she couldn't talk then. She could tell everyone proudly her name now. "My name is Aithusa" she said, unable to keep the pride out of her voice.

Elyan looked slightly surprised but also pleased. Aithusa wondered if she may have an ally among the non-magical knights after all. Mordred seemed torn between looking shocked at Elyan and looking at her in wonder. The King looked like he was unsure to be surprised that his knight had heard about dragon lore or that she had a name. She decided not to give the King a chance to yell at the poor knight and the spell started again.  
_____________________________________________

As the light faded they found themselves once again in Hunith’s house. Merlin is older now. If Percival had to guess he would assume around 4 years old. The house seemed to be the same but unlike before there was evidence of a small child wherever you looked. There is a small pallet that had to serve as little Merlin's bed was easy to uproot and turn around. With no small amount of unease he turned his attention back to the people in the room. Hunith was cooking while Merlin was playing with some toys on the floor. Merlin had a look of discomfort on his face though it seemed like he was trying to hide it. Percival realized he wasn't actually playing with toys just holding them and squirming. 

"Is something wrong with him?" The Queen asked, sounding concerned. 

Percival looked around and they all looked confused at the small child's behavior. Mordred seemed to have a bit of dawning understanding on his face but before Percival could question him Hunith seemed to notice her son's discomfort. 

Hunith quickly scooped up the child which seemed to surprise Merlin who let out a little gasp. 

"Does it feel itchy again?" Hunith asked softly. Her voice was softer than he had ever heard it. 

Merlin nodded pitifully. "I'm trying to be good but I don't feel good" he said quietly sounding miserable. 

"Remember Merlin when you feel like this you should tell me right away" Hunith lightly scolded as she set Merlin next to her on his little pallet. "Now," She started looking at him seriously, "Do you remember what we do first?"

Merlin took a big breath, "First we make sure we are where no one can see".

"Good" Hunith said while making sure the curtains were closed and the door was locked. "Now what do we do?"

"Then I find a space I feel safe…" Merlin said trailing off in discomfort.

"What would help little one?" Hunith asked with worry in her voice.

"Hug?" 

Hunith was by Merlin in an instant. Wrapping her arms around him and letting him bury his face in his chest.

"Now Merlin you need let it go slowly or it will hurt more" Hunith said gently while petting her son's head.

Merlin mumbled something and Percival tried to move closer to hear.

Hunith shook her head in response to whatever Merlin said, "It's alright. This is not against the rules. You won't get in trouble". 

Merlin shot her a doubtful look but sat up a bit to do whatever it was Hunith wanted him to. Carefully he brought one hand up and focused on it. Slowly a small flame spring up in his small hand as his eyes started to glow a soft gold. 

Everyone let out a small gasp, except for Gwaine who muttered 'bloody hell'. Percival really couldn't help but agree with that statement. 

Surprisingly the flame didn't hurt him, instead it seemed to relax him. Slowly all the pained discomfort leaked out of Merlin and his little body lost all its tension. Merlin's eyes glowed once more and shapes started to form within the flame. A rabbit, then a forest, then a horse galloping away. 

Percival found himself lost in this innocent use of magic. If the awed silence surrounding him meant anything so were the rest of them. 

Hunith smiled at her son but it was full of tension. Her eyes going back between the beautiful flames held by her son and the door. Percival could feel his own awed smile dim. He couldn't help but wonder if either of them ever got to relax for more than a moment. 

Merlin let out a sigh and shook his hand making the flames disappear. His mother also shook her head slightly as if forcing her thoughts away.

"Merlin honey you have to do this before it becomes painful. It's not healthy to keep your magic in" Hunith said in a hushed voice. He blinked at her inability to even say magic louder than a whisper in her own house.

Merlin shook his head, "I don't want to use magic. I don't want to be special anymore. I want to be normal like Will and go outside and play. Instead I have to stay inside because I’m bad"

The Queen gave a slight gasp at that. Percival noted that everyone looked slightly heartbroken at Merlin’s insistence. 

"Merlin no sweetheart..." Hunith's mouth opened and closed but she couldn't seem to find words to convince her son otherwise.

"It is! I am bad!", Merlin yelled looking like he was about to cry, "You said I can't do magic outside but even when I'm inside you get mad at me! But when I try to be good it hurts and then I get in trouble for not doing magic. I don't want to be special anymore!" Merlin ended with frustrated tears running down his tiny face.

Hunith immediately tried to comfort him running her hands up and down his arms, “Merlin you have a gift. Other people just can’t understand” Hunith’s voice caught again, trying to explain but not sure how to get her son to understand. “Magic can scare others Merlin”

“Like how you get scared of me?” Merlin said in a voice that was far too understanding and sad for someone his age. 

“Oh baby I’m not scared of you. I’m scared for you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Merlin nodded but he didn’t look convinced. Hunith opened her mouth to say more but closed it again after a moment. 

“Do you want to come out with me to get some water for dinner?” She said instead.

Merlin looked up in surprise and nodded excitedly before running to grab a bucket from near the kitchen counter. Hunith took his hand as they exited and the memory ended with another flash of light.  
________________________________________________________________________

Elyan had been fully convinced before this point that maybe some people had been born with magic and could then agree that people could use magic for good. He definitely understood magic doesn’t make you inherently evil. However, knowing these facts did not prepare him for the knowledge that people born with magic had to use it or it would hurt them. It was hard to tell if little Merlin had just been uncomfortable not using it or if he had been in real pain but Hunith herself said it wasn’t healthy. Elyan felt himself pale as he wondered if that was why Merlin always looked so tired and could never put on weight. Was their adult Merlin hurting because if he did magic and got caught he would be killed? He had always had a soft spot for Merlin since he was such good friends with his sister. Merlin had even helped them become closer when he moved back to Camelot. He couldn’t help but feel a little sick at the thought of all Merlin had to go through just because he was born with magic. Elyan couldn’t help but hope this was all a trap, stories of dragon’s honesty or not. 

The others hadn’t said a word since the last memory ended. They all looked various levels of frustrated or horrified. He couldn’t blame them. All any of them wanted was for this to end so they could find Merlin and see what parts of this was even true. 

Elyan wondered what he would do if Merlin did have magic. He really didn’t want to consider the real possibility of this being his childhood. Then what would he do if Arthur condemned him? He brushed that thought away immediately. Arthur is a good king and he would never condemn a person for something they couldn’t control. Plus Gwen would kill him if her husband dared to hurt her best friend.

He focused back on little Merlin who seemed just a little older than in the last memory. This memory was different for some reason. It was just a regular day for the family as far as he could tell. Instead of just seeing some important event that happened they had been watching Merlin entertain himself for three hours now. Elyan wasn’t sure where Hunith was but Merlin apparently couldn’t go out much because he couldn’t control his magic so he assumed she was working in the fields and had left him. Elyan shook his head to stop himself from considering all that THAT implied. It was slightly amusing to see what the child did to entertain himself but after three hours he was as bored as Merlin. He really didn’t appreciate all this time to think things over.

Suddenly the window slid open and a small kid popped his head in. 

Merlin instantly brightened up, “Will!”

“Shh Merlin you are going to give me away!” Will loudly scolded him.

“No you are going to do that yourself if you don’t come down before you fall down” Merlin said with a snort. 

There were various grins and snorts at that. Looks like his quick witted retorts were another thing Merlin was born with.

Will looked slightly offended but came down quickly anyways. “You know you get meaner every time I see you”.

Merlin’s eyebrows shot up at that, “I’m not mean!”

“Sure sure, you’re not mean and I’m not loud”.

Merlin rolled his eyes but didn’t respond to that. 

“Now little Merlin as the only one willing to brave your confinement from that dangerous ‘illness’ you have” Will said with very animated air quotes, “I get to pick the game first. What did you do this time anyways?”

“Just being my usual self” Merlin said with a smirk. Elyan wondered if Will knew that Merlin had magic.

“Ha sure so your Mom noticed you were meaner too” Will said smugly. “Anyways let’s play hide and seek today”.

“Oh so you want to lose then? You know I’m the best at hide and seek! My Mom trained me.” Merlin said grinning. Elyan felt his heart sink as he thought why Hunith would teach him to be good at hide and seek. Great more wonderful implication as to how scary Merlin’s life is constantly.

“Nope! You have to seek first and I have a realllyyyy good spot this time!” Will boasted.

Merlin still looked completely unphased by Will’s boasting. “Alright better hide quickly” Merlin said clapping his hands over his eyes.

In the end it only took Merlin three minutes to find Will, which must have been good because Will seemed happy to have lasted that long. Will ended up giving up on finding Merlin after forty minutes of searching. Elyan was unsure if he could’ve found him either if he hadn’t been watching which he was actually a bit relieved about. If the knights ever came looking again they would be hard pressed to find him. He quickly threw out the thought that he was rooting against Camelot now.

“So what’s the real reason you can never go outside to play?” Will asked. “Your Mom loves you and would probably forgive you if you made a mess like my mom gets mad at me for”.

Merlin looked a bit conflicted. After a moment he asked, “What does your mom do when you are bad?”

“Hmmm well usually she spanks my butt or makes me sit in the corner.” Will said with a pained expression. 

Merlin looked a bit sorry for him, “I guess our Moms are just different”. 

They were quiet for a moment before Merlin asked about various things and people outside which prompted Will to ramble about every single thing he knew. Apparently Will’s Mom had the best gossip. 

Next to Arthur, Gwen giggled, “He literally has always been a huge gossip”.

Elyan and several of the others let out snorts or small laughs at that. 

Just as Elyan was starting to tune Will’s voice out his attention was brought back.

“... and then Old Man Simmons said that magic users deserved to burn. I thought Mom was going to hit him. Afterwards she pulled me aside and said that even if everyone else says so that magic can be good and that Old Man Simmons was an old shit.” Will said with a bit of awe. “She also said not to curse after that but I think he deserved it.”

Merlin had an expression far too controlled for a child. 

“What did Old Man Simmons mean by burn? Like burn their fingers?” Merlin asked with wide eyes.

“I think they mean burn all of them. Last time I went to market in the next town with Mom some ladies were talking about how Camelot had burned a bunch more sorcerers like they were animals. I think they cooked them! Camelot must be really evil if they eat people.” Will said sounding disgusted. Arthur and Leon’s had matching pale and pained faces at the idea of Camelot being a place of fear.

Merlin became even more pale, “They cook and eat people that have magic?”

“I don’t know! That’s just what those ladies said. Good thing no one here has magic or Old Man Simmons might eat them.” Will said scrunching up his nose. Elyan felt his heart break at how scared Merlin looked at that moment. Will may be wrong but really wasn’t that far off either. 

Shakily Merlin nodded, “Yeah good thing. Um I think Mom will be home soon I think you should leave now so you don’t get caught.”

Will raised an eyebrow at him, “What but they won’t be done in the fields for hours?”  
“Umm Mom said she was going to check on me. You should go. Right now.” Merlin blabbered ushering him to the door.

“Ok! See you tomorrow Merlin!” Will said not noticing how shaken Merlin looked.

As soon as Will was gone Merlin let his fake smile slip and started breathing in little gasps. Tears quickly started to fall as Merlin curled up on the floor and hugged his legs. Elyan wanted to help the obviously panicking child but the world turned to white once more.  
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	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry because of covid 19 its been a bit hard to work/post on this. But here you go and enjoy!

Gwaine knew that he had always had a soft spot for Merlin. As far as he was concerned, Merlin was the only person that everyone should have a little bit of a soft spot for. Merlin was his first friend, the one to convince him to give nobility another try and the reason Gwaine even became a knight of Camelot. This slightly clumsy but incredibly kind kid, well he should say man now, stumbled into his life and gave him a home and a purpose. Now he may still go to the tavern and flirt with women, he actually takes his work as a knight quite seriously. He honestly can’t believe how much it actually means to him now. All because of Merlin. Gwaine would do anything for him. 

It actually hurts a bit that, if he thinks about it, he hasn’t been as close with Merlin lately. Knight’s duties have kept him busy and Merlin is already busy enough being a servant to the king and taking on more work as a physician for Gaius. The old physician isn’t getting any younger. As soon as he gets out of this frankly unbelievable situation he vows that he is going to be a better friend. He knew as soon as he saw Merlin had magic that he would help Merlin escape if he had to but a small small part of him would miss his life at Camelot. He is loyal to Arthur but Gwaine is quite sure that if Arthur does anything to harm Merlin, hell if he even considers it, then obviously he has once again made a mistake giving any loyalty to nobility. God he really hopes he hasn’t made the same mistake again. 

Mistake or not, it is safe to say Gwaine cares a great deal for Merlin. So it’s a bit of a surprise when he feels that soft spot getting growing watching Merlin grow up. The need to protect Merlin both in this time and in these memories is becoming overwhelming. It’s almost painful seeing how scared he was growing up with barely controlled magic, being hidden away from the village. While we all watched, he noticed the others were also getting more obvious in their growing distress as well, despite the struggles to accept the magic. Hell, when this tiny memory Merlin tripped, Percival and Leon both leapt to catch him before remembering they can’t do a blasted thing here. He had never seen either man look so embarrassed before, he would’ve teased them if he himself hadn’t gasped a bit too loudly seeing Merlin fall himself. Even Arthur looked concerned before he muttered something about Merlin always being clumsy and returning to his usual brooding. Unfortunately that’s another thing that was worrying him. The ongoing debate about this even being real. Gwaine had to admit if this was all made up it was an incredibly detailed plan. In Gwaine’s humble opinion, if Morgana really wanted Arthur to become paranoid and execute Merlin or some other seemingly loyal subject she would’ve had her dragon, Aithusa apparently, show him Merlin using magic to harm someone, not his whole life story. Probably some terribly unMerlin-like vision of him betraying Arthur somehow. Plus she definitely wouldn’t have her dragon all but beg us to understand Merlin and his choices. No, betrayal and suffering are much more her style if you asked Gwaine, but of course no one did. Gwaine may hate it, but the memories just made so much sense. For example, it explained how you could talk to Merlin for hours and never learn a single thing about him. Unlike the others he had always known you shouldn’t underestimate Merlin but he was beginning to look back and see how good at diversion and distraction he was despite Merlin being truly terrible at lying. 

However Merlin obviously had to practice to get to that point because the little sevenish year old rascal they are all watching now was definitely not as masterful at diverting attention. Hunith had finally come back after about four mind-numbing hours and Merlin is desperately trying to convince her he has enough control to help her in the fields for the second half of her work day. While Gwaine was a bit worried about the implication that Merlin is still having trouble with his magic, he also understands the kids' desperation to leave. This was beyond boring to watch even when Merlin got bored enough to make shapes out of fire again. There was obvious improvement there since this time Merlin had been doing it lazily, tracing shapes over the cooking fire looking bored.

It was apparently Merlin’s lucky day because Hunith gave in and said he could help but if he started feeling itchy at all he had to go back inside. Of course Merlin swore up and down to do just that. So they finally got to see what Merlin was like outside. Gwaine wondered if watching Merlin in the castle was going to be this mundane. 

It was a very sunny day and Merlin seemed to physically soak up the sun as if he was a plant being watered after a drought. Gwaine couldn’t help but notice the slight guilt in Hunith’s expression as she noticed how much brighter Merlin became. After being cooped up in Hunith’s house for who knows how long Gwaine noticed most of the other knights became a little more at ease outside as well. Well apparently they actually had only been there for seconds because time wasn’t real here but he pushed that thought away as it was far too much to consider right now. Right now Merlin was actually being allowed to act like a kid and was running towards the field where Anne and Will were already working. Anne looked the same except for some new wrinkles around the eyes. Will looked like this was the excuse he had been waiting for all day and promptly abandoned his work to run over to Merlin. Instantly they were involved in another deep gossiping session as it was supposedly Will’s one goal in life to keep Merlin updated on all things that went on in Ealdor. Their mother’s just rolled their eyes at their children’s antics and started gently pushing them to do work as they started their own conversation. Seeing as it seemed they would be here a while Gwaine made himself comfortable, only half listening just in case there was a reason this would be included in the memories. 

They hadn’t been there long before Gwaine noticed Anne and Hunith’s tones becoming more serious.

“Come on Hunith, how much trouble can he get into?” Gwaine raised an eyebrow. He could only assume she meant Merlin but he honestly didn’t think anyone could say that with a straight face having met the child. Based on Hunith’s expression she had similar thoughts. He was pretty sure he heard the dragon snort, apparently they can do that?

Seeing her expression, Anne seemed to switch tactics, “Hunith please when was the last time he was outside for more than a few hours? Let him have a bit of freedom”.

That seemed to make Hunith cave as her expression softened. She glanced at the boys and gave a sigh before giving Anne a nod. Anne immediately sent her an approving smile. 

“Will”, Anne called getting the boy's attention, “Why don’t you take Merlin to the river to play for a bit?”

“Really?” asked Will. Both the boys looked far more shocked than they should have in Gwaine’s opinion. . Realizing they shouldn’t question their good luck the boys glanced at each other before running off, not even seeing Anne’s nod in response to their question. Glad his friend was finally getting a chance to have some actual fun Gwaine ran after then. He could almost feel Arthur shaking his head at him but he wasn’t about to let the princess stop him. 

They reached the end of the field quickly, entering the forest that was close to the village. Merlin almost lost his balance on one of the roots of the trees but luckily caught himself before Gwaine could be the next one to embarrass himself trying to catch him. Before long they were at the river. It was more of a creek really, the water wouldn’t even come up to Gwaine’s knees at its deepest point if he were to wade in it. The others were a bit slower to join since they did not join in the mad sprint the kids went on like Gwaine did. Really they were no fun. It was worth it to be able to hear little Merlin laugh so freely while dashing into the woods. 

It didn’t take long for Will to start explaining some overcomplicated game they could play. While Will swore up and down he hadn’t just made up the game on the spot, Gwaine was pretty sure Merlin didn’t believe him. He was glad about that because that meant little Merlin was not naive despite never leaving his house because the game was ridiculous and whoever believed the boy was extremely gullible. 

“Is this really a game peasant children play? It seems far too complicated for its own good”, asked Arthur. Really Gwaine should’ve expected this. 

Gwaine and Elyan shared one look before both of them quickly nodded, not giving anyone a chance to answer before them. 

“Really Princess, you need to get to know your people better if you don’t know this game”.

Elyan nodded, “The kids in Camelot play it but they call it something else there. I used to play it all the time”.

Percival, bless his heart, also nodded, “Aye. I played it too but it’s more fun with more people”.

Leon looked like he really really wanted to contradict us but seemed just unsure enough to wonder. So did Mordred which was surprising but at least he wasn’t giving away the joke either. The Queen looked like she was just barely keeping a straight face and really there was a reason everyone loved her. 

Gwaine was just starting to think that maybe this was a good memory, Merlin was quickly gaining the upper hand in the weird game Will had made up despite Will adding new rules to try to twist the game. Merlin even used some of these rules against Will to Gwaine’s approval. However apparently Merlin had used up all of his happy childhood time as three teenage boys entered the clearing around the river. 

“So the bastard has finally been let out of his cage.” Said the tallest boy, who was obviously the leader. He looked around thirteen and had some lean muscles from working the fields with poorly cut brown hair. Gwaine already hated the boy. The other two were slightly lankier. One was short and had blonde hair and the other had brown. They really made for some pathetic looking bullies. 

Little Merlin shot Will a questioning look while Will looked angry. 

“Shut up Allen! You don’t get to call him that. I’ll make sure my parents know what you said. You know my Mom will kick your ass, even if you aren’t her kid.”

The three bullies shared a look before laughing, “Are- Are you really threatening to have your MOM beat me up?” Allen asked between laughs. Gwaine thought Anne could take him personally.

Merlin seemed to share his opinion, “Have you met Anne? I’m pretty sure she could take five of you”.

Allen and his lackeys stopped laughing while Will shot him a warning look. Merlin did not seem fazed. Out of the corner of his eye, Gwaine saw the Queen look nervously between the two groups of boys. The dragon looked a bit angry as it glared the boys down. Gwaine couldn’t believe he agreed with a dragon. 

Allen started stalking towards Merlin. Will tried to get in front of him but the other two bullies blocked him. If Merlin was intimidated by this he didn’t show it, instead he looked Allen right in the eye as he towered over him. 

“What now that your Mom finally let you out you think you are worth anything now? You are just a waste of resources, even my Dad said so”.

Gwaine wondered if this was actually Merlin’s first encounter with a bully as Merlin didn’t even blink at the harsh words. 

“I do the same chores any child is expected to do. I help Mom with the crops and firewood”.

Allen scoffed, “And you really think that means you are worth something? You act like that means I should fall to my knees”.

“”Of course not. Just means I don’t see any reason to fall at yours” Merlin shot right back.

Will was really starting to look nervous. He seemed to be debating if he could get past the two and get to Merlin. Gwaine, as proud as he was, really wished Merlin wouldn’t challenge bigger and tougher boys.

Allen did not seem impressed, “Do you not know who my dad is?”

Merlin just raised an eyebrow, his expression clearing saying he didn’t care. Arthur muttered something about Merlin really needing to learn to not pick fights with important people and Gwaine would’ve made an annoyed comment if Allen didn’t grab Merlin in that moment. 

Pushing Merlin back, Allen continued as if Merlin answered, “You see my Dad’s name is Matthew. You know the guy in charge? Highly respected?”

Merlin’s expression faltered slightly as he tried to fight against Allen’s grip. 

“So, say if you tried to say something against me, who do you think they would believe? Me, son of Matthew, or you the town’s hidden bastard?”

Merlin stopped struggling and looked Allen straight in the eye before putting on a mischievous grin, “Ah so you really don’t do anything so that I should respect you? Just an ass trying to use his Dad’s name as a reason to be better than you are”.

That’s when Allen hit him. Guinivere gasped. Will shouted Merlin’s name, sounding equally annoyed and concerned. Will quickly punched the nearest bully trying to get to Merlin. Merlin himself was already back on his feet backing away from Allen as quickly as he could. His lip was split. 

The knights started yelling tips and curses as Merlin dodged Allen’s next punch. Maybe Merlin had encountered bullies before but he obviously didn’t know how to fight. It didn’t take long for Allen to get another punch in, this time to Merlin’s stomach. Merlin doubled over again as Allen laughed. Gwaine cursed even louder as he was forced to watch this small version of his friend stagger away slightly. Merlin kept his head facing down as Allen faced him once more.

“You really should be running away little bastard” Allen said with a laugh.

The other two had subdued Will. He had a matching split lip and what was surely going to be a black eye. The other two bullies were holding his arms but Gwaine wasn’t sure what he expected the beat up kid to do. 

Merlin glanced up at them, glaring daggers when he saw Will. 

“What do you even want Allen?” Merlin asked angrily. 

“Isn’t that obvious? I want some good fun. You and your friend are going to provide us with some”, Allen suddenly brightened as if he had an idea, “Liam, Mack, bring that idiot over here”.

The other two smiled as the forced Will over, not that he resisted. He seemed almost relieved to be closer to Merlin despite the danger. Everyone, even the bloody dragon, was on edge waiting to see what Allen had in mind. 

Making his way over to Merlin with the other two pushed Will along. Merlin made no effort to back up or get away, damn him. Gwaine knew he wouldn’t unless he could get Will away with him. 

Allen grabbed Merlin’s arm and held him in front of him, Allen looked Will over before gesturing to Merlin, “Now Will, punch Merlin”.

Merlin and Will’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. One of the others pushed Will a little bit closer. 

Allen squeezed Merlin’s arm till he gasped, “Come on Will, hurt the bastard or I will”.

Will gave a panicked look as he looked between Allen and Merlin. 

Merlin shot Will a grin, “Yeah Will, punch the bastard”. Then the cheeky little shit shot him a wink.

Will looked like he was considering punching Merlin a bit more seriously and shook off the other two who let him go. They were probably curious to see if he would punch him, Gwaine was too if he was honest. 

Will took one step forward before putting his whole weight into his punch. Merlin, still grinning, suddenly ducked down and before Allen could pull him back Will had punched him in the face. Will looked mildly shocked as Allen hit the ground with a yelp. Before anyone could recover, Merlin grabbed Will and took off as quickly as a deer. Gwaine was sure they would make it far but he noticed Merlin’s eyes glow gold just by sheer luck and the bullies found themselves on the ground. Gwaine let a relieved laugh escape him as they all ran after the two boys. 

After running back to what Gwaine assumed was Will’s home. Will shot a glare at Merlin. 

“I think I figured out why Hunith doesn’t let you out of the house” He grumbled.

Merlin let out a groan, “Don’t talk about my Mom right now. She is going to murder me. I’ll be lucky if I get to go outside again before I am an adult”. 

Will chuckled, “Yeah well I can’t blame her. You are a trouble magnet”.

A dark look passed over Merlin’s face; it looked wrong on the child, “Yeah well I didn’t ask to be born a bastard”. 

Will sighed and looked at Merlin seriously, “They would have found another reason to beat you up. I’m not a bastard and they try to corner me constantly”.

“How often do they corner you? Is that why I don’t see you for a few days?” Merlin questioned immediately. 

Will nodded with a grimace. Merlin just looked resigned and shook his head. 

“So what now? Do we tell our Mom’s the truth or did I trip and send us both tumbling?” Merlin asked. Guinevere narrowed her eyes, obviously she knew what she thought they should do.

Will raised an eyebrow and paused as he gave it some thought, “We tripped. I think you should see the outside world again this year”. The queen gave a soft, resigned sigh. Gwaine couldn’t fault the kid’s reasoning though, he probably would’ve said the same. 

Merlin just nodded, “Well let’s get cleaned up then. Maybe we can play it off as less painful than it looks”. He sounded way too chipper even with his split lip. 

Will moved to grab a washcloth from a basin near the sink, “Sure you know how, Mr.Shut-in-for-his-own-good?”

Merlin rolled his eyes and took the cloth from him, “Better than you. You suck at hiding your injuries”. Merlin gave Will a pointed look. 

“You already knew then?” Will didn’t seem surprised. 

“I didn’t even think you were hiding it. I just didn’t realize it wasn’t because you are a clumsy idiot that falls through windows” Merlin said with obvious disapproval. 

The memory slowly faded away with white to the sound of Will’s incredulous chuckle.   
________________________________________________________

Gwen blinked as they were returned to Hunith’s house. The transition had been less extreme this time. She wondered if that meant something. She was only mildly surprised when she saw Merlin looking the same age, with the same clothes and the same split lip. Hunith was standing over him while he was sitting in the corner on a stool. Hunith looked mildly annoyed which also didn’t surprise Gwen. She imagined Merlin as a child would have that effect, not that she didn’t love the man she considered her best friend. 

“Give me one good reason you should see the sun again?” Hunith asked. She didn’t sound like she was kidding.

“I’d probably die?” Merlin tried, he didn’t look like he really thought that would work.

“You should have thought of that before someone beat you up and you tried to lie about it” Hunith said. Ah so Merlin’s lie didn’t work. 

“In my defense I didn’t ask to be beat up” Merlin said with a shrug.

Hunith raised her eyebrows at that. Some of the knights looked amused despite the situation, especially her husband. The dragon just flicked it’s tail and pushed itself, or herself, into a corner. Gwen sighed internally but she really couldn’t blame Hunith for the doubt.

Merlin sighed and relented, “They were after Will and decided I should be included in their fun because I am a bastard and a burden to the town”.

Hunith had a horrified look cross her face before it darkened, “What did you say their names were again? I need to talk to Anne”.

Merlin snorted, “Will told them Anne would murder them. Weirdly they didn’t seem threatened”.

“They’ll regret that,” Hunith said with a bit too much force in her voice. Merlin just shook his head with a small smile before looking down at the floor. 

Hunith looked her son up and down before getting down to his level, “You know they are wrong right? I’m not ashamed of you”.

Merlin’s expression faltered but he nodded almost imperceptibly, “I know. It's just...,” Merlin paused looking conflicted. 

Hunith put a hand on Merlin’s knee, “Whatever it is sweetheart, you can tell me”.

That seemed to break through to Merlin as his expression fell even further. 

“I did something bad”, Merlin started with obvious hesitation. Hunith nodded at him to continue.

“It didn’t seem like me and Will could get away… so when everyone wasn’t looking I used magic to make sure we could run” Hunith let out some air, too faint to be a gasp but Merlin must of heard it because he started to frantically explain himself, “No one saw! I was sure, I almost didn’t do it in time because I wanted to be sure! I promise I didn’t hurt anyone just made it so they tripped and I made sure it wouldn’t hurt anyone! I’m not a monster! I was careful!”

Gwen felt her heart break at the child’s panicked ranting which was dangerously close to just becoming sobbing. Hunith grabbed Merlin’s shoulder, which made him jump and stop speaking. He just stared at her with an expression similar to one expecting a blow. Like his own mother would tell him he was wrong and that by defending himself he really was a monster. Gwen felt a tear run down her face and she wondered when she had started crying. 

“Merlin sweetheart, never call yourself a monster again. You understand? No matter what you do you are not a monster” Hunith stared right back at Merlin, she looked like she was trying to make him understand by pure force of will alone. Merlin nodded a little faintly, he still looked scared and slightly wary. Gwen wondered if he really did believe Hunith or not. 

“You didn’t ask for magic, especially now when people don’t understand that magic can be a good thing. But what do you do with the magic you have been gifted?” Merlin looked confused and so his mother continued, “You make beautiful pictures in flames, you keep a fire going in the winter so we don’t freeze, and most importantly, despite all the risk you help your friends when they need it” Hunith smiled and Merlin continued to look shocked at his mother.

“But.. I’m not supposed to” Merlin said faintly.

Hunith chuckled, “Yes well I won’t pretend I didn’t wish you hadn’t used magic BUT I’m very proud of you nonetheless. You protected Will and you didn’t even harm anyone. You are so brave sweetheart”.

Merlin looked slightly flustered at the praise, “It’s not- I… I just wanted to get us away. I thought you’d be angry”.

“Angry at the bullies beating you up so bad you had to use magic to get away? Absolutely. Mad at you? No just worried,” Hunith said, “That being said you are never leaving this house again”.

Merlin’s expression dropped. “Oh come on it wasn’t that bad! Being beat up is better than staying in here the rest of my life,” Merlin whined. Gwen heard a couple of the knights chuckle, she was smiling herself. She had heard Merlin whine to Gaius much in the same way before. A pit in her stomach dropped as she processed that thought. If this was a fake memory, it was a very well thought out one. 

Hunith had a mischievous gleam in her eye. Gwen could see the resemblance between her and the Merlin she knew better than ever. Hunith pretended to give it some thought, “Well I suppose if you help me clean up tonight you can join me in the fields again tomorrow”. 

Merlin’s eye went wide, “T-tomorrow? Really already?” 

Suddenly there was a flurry of movement as Merlin raced up and headed towards the kitchen area, “Don’t worry I’ll take care of it”. Gwen really did chuckle then, apparently he didn’t want his mother to change her mind. The group of them were about to follow Merlin to the other side of the house when they heard Hunith sigh.

“He really is his father’s son”.

Then the world went white.   
________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support you have been giving me and this fic! I cannot say enough how much that means to me. I promise that tho I may be slow I'm not gonna abandon it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A different reveal and a surprising lack of Merlin

Aithusa could tell she wasn't the only one grateful to see the clearing again. She knew that that had been a lot to take in. She also highly suspected they wanted time away from her to talk about what they saw. She couldn't blame them for that but she hoped that they would eventually get more used to her presence. For now she resigned herself to rest near the end of the clearing. 

The group of them started to form a circle that had most of them facing away from her. She rendered if it was purposeful or not but tried to retreat a little further discreetly just in case. It felt too dishonest to fly off every time when she knew she would be able to hear everything anyways. 

Mordred was glancing over like he wanted to find a way to include her which she did appreciate. However, Arthur was glaring at her as if making her go away would solve all their problems. She wished she could go back to listening to her Dragonlord talk instead. She missed Merlin despite just having seen him. He gave her strength just by being by her even after everything that happened. It was harder than she thought to be strong throughout this. She had been through so much worse after all. She looked away from the group, deciding that ignoring them may make them feel more at ease. 

She heard one of the men, she assumed Arthur, sigh a bit in annoyance. However when Arthur spoke it was without anything but concern, “While we have a few moments I want to know how you all are doing. Please be honest with me on your thoughts on this”.

Aithusa didn’t need to see to know the Queen and many of the knights had pride clear on their features despite everything else they were feeling. 

Surprisingly Percival spoke up first, “I know we cannot confirm if this is real or not but seeing Merlin go through this is difficult, “ Aithusa risked a look over to see many heads nodding sympathetically, including Arthur, “No child should have to carry such fear of themselves or others. It makes me feel sick about the death sentences of sorcerers”.

Percival looked as though he may end there but spoke up again, “I know it may be considered wrong to say so but I do not think magic wholly evil Sire. Before I came to Camelot I lived in other lands where the laws were more lenient to magic users. I saw it used for healing and mundane things such as farming and mending. I cannot help but want to speak up even if this is untrue because it may not be for someone else’s child. Though I also must confess I’ve never heard of those born with magic before”.

“Thank you for your honesty Sir Percival,” Arthur said earnestly despite his expression showing some confliction. “Please know none of you will face punishment for giving your thoughts”.

“I have to say I feel similarly to Percival”, Elyan said quietly, “Being back in Camelot it's easy to forget what I saw in my travels. Magic is used so maliciously and caused so much pain, it feels like good magic has never touched this place. However I have seen it. I camped with druids for a time after I had left. They were the ones who told me of the Dragonlords. They had young kids that used magic there. I had assumed they had been taught but it’s possible they had been born with it”. Guinivere took Elyan’s hand and squeezed it. 

Arthur nodded at Elyan, “I had wondered where you had heard about dragon lore. Not even Gaius had mentioned that during the Great Dragon’s attack”. 

Leon shook his head, “Not that we asked many questions like that at the time. Obviously dragons are more intelligent than we thought”.

“Leon you were once saved by druids, were you not? Do you remember any instances where there may have been good magic or magic in children?” Elyan asked.

Leon thought for a moment, “I’m pretty sure they used magic to heal me. They had some sort of cup that they made me drink from…”

“The cup of life?” Mordred asked, sounding surprised.

“Perhaps? I never got a good look at the cup of life while Morgana and Morgouse had it. I sure hope it wasn’t. Would that make me immortal?” Leon asked, looking slightly pale. 

Mordred shook his head even while Guinivere answered, “Cup of life or no you didn’t disappear with the immortal army so it was likely a different spell or a different cup. We can look into it later if it troubles you”.

“If the dragon keeps its word and let’s us go or if we escape” Arthur muttered, clearly deep in thought. 

Leon nodded gratefully at the Queen, “Besides the healing magic that saved me I saw no children or instantences of good magic. I left quickly after giving my thanks to report back. However…” Leon hesitated, clearly troubled.

His hesitation seemed to bring Arthur out of his thoughts, “Whatever you are thinking you should know you do not have to hide it from us, least of all me Leon”. 

Leon once again looked grateful, “I have never been more proud to call you my king when you made peace with the druids. The raids have always haunted me and I feel they will always until my dying day, “ Arthur nodded with far too much understanding, “If sorcerers were capable of being born with magic or if it doesn’t corrupt, then I fear their deaths will haunt me as well and with good justification. To even think the Knights of Camelot were part of someone I consider a friend’s nightmares and for good reason, it is enough to make me want to tread carefully. I think we should keep an open mind Sire”. 

“Even if the information comes from Morgana’s dragon?” Arthur asked. Aithusa was equally concerned that her presence would be the thing that kept Arthur from believing and hopeful that he still looked open to Leon’s words.

“I think Sire,” Leon started carefully, “That will the Morgana we knew is gone and we no longer understand what she is capable of, that perhaps we should consider the information. With caution of course and checks from Gaius to make sure we are not enchanted. It feels too real”.

Gwaine chuckled humorlessly, “You mean the kid is too Merlin?”

Leon nodded with a smile that looked more like a grimace.

Arthur nodded as he took that information in. He was quiet for a few moments before he looked at Gwaine, “I never thought I’d be asking this but what are your thoughts on this Gwaine?”

Aithusa could tell the humor was appreciated despite it falling flat. 

“I think if Morgana wanted to turn you against Merlin she would have shown him betraying you and claimed it as a memory. I think she wouldn’t have ever thought to show you any goodness in magic because she has already decided she wanted you dead and you changing your mind about magic won’t make a lick of difference there,” Aithusa tried not to flinch at the tone used against her once friend. She couldn’t really deny it either, “I think I keep finding more and more reason to think this is true which makes it even harder to think that Merlin must have never known what it was like to not be afraid or hell even trust someone. I think I need to know what’s going to happen to him if this is true”.

There was a thick tension by the time Gwaine’s short rant was over. Aithusa wanted answers just as badly as Gwaine but she really wished he wouldn’t antagonize the King. 

The King ran his hand through his hair while putting a hand on his hip as he sighed once again. Aithusa was very aware she was no longer being sly with her staring but wasn’t too worried as everyone else had their eyes locked on Arthur. 

“I need to know all the facts first. I know I need to have an answer for you all and I will. I appreciate all your thoughts on the matter truly, but we have not seen enough yet to decide the validity of these visions let alone what that means for Merlin and magic. However I can say if Merlin’s only crime is being born with magic he apparently cannot control or stop using I cannot punish him for it justly. I do not want to think it has corrupted him but we need to see more. I do not want to think of myself or my father as murderers but I have to agree with Leon. There has been enough innocent bloodshed. I will be the first to say my father was wrong about many things, however if he was wrong about magic then something truly horrendous has been allowed to happen” Arthur said sounding truly pained. 

Gwaine did not look appeased. Instead he seemed to be working himself up, “That just isn’t enough. This all makes it seem like your father started a war against innocent people who couldn’t help what they were! He murdered them in cold blood! Sure they weren’t all innocent but they were all afraid!”

“Gwaine!”, Percival cut in, “I get it but that isn’t Arthur’s fault”.

“No but he is the one who has to make up for it isn’t he?” Gwaine shot right back.

Arthur looked like he couldn’t hold himself back anymore, “Gwaine good magic or no, Camelot has been attacked again and again by magic! It killed both my parents! What do you want me to say? That I’ll just allow magic users without making sure we were actually wrong? Do you think I like this either? I don’t want innocents to fear for their lives but if I make another mistake just as many lives could be lost!”

Gwaine seemed to deflate at that, “All I’m saying is we owe Merlin and thousands of others more than an apology if this is real”.

“I know that Gwaine, I know” Arthur said while rubbing his face.

Guinivere leaned closer to her husband, releasing her hold on Elyan to tighten hers on Arthur, “Arthur what are you thinking?”

Arthur searched her expression for a moment, “I am thinking that I desperately don't want that child to have existed. It’s sickening to see anyone, let alone Merlin, terrified that someone would burn and eat him because of how he was born. I don't want there to have been a mother that had to drug her child because my father tore a family apart. I don’t want to be but I’m angry and betrayed and I honest to god cannot tell if it’s at the dragon or Morgana or magic or my father or maybe even Merlin himself. Probably all of them all at once. I cannot feel but like I failed as a King. I don’t know much about magic but this shouldn’t be possible. I just want to talk to Merlin but we don’t know where he is or if he is ok”. 

The knights turned very solemn at that. Leon closed his eyes in pain. Gwaine’s fist was so tight his hand started to turn white. Mordred especially looked conflicted and unsure. Aithusa wondered if it was because of Arthur’s words or if it was because he wasn’t sure if he belonged in the moment as he hadn’t yet been asked his opinion. Aithusa knew that any assurance that Merlin is fine would be unappreciated for many reasons, also she didn’t want them to know she was eavesdropping even if she can’t help it. 

Arthur took a moment to visibly pull himself together. He seems to finally notice Mordred and an emotion Aithusa can’t identify flashes over him.  
__________________________________

“Mordred please do not think your opinion is any less valued. Whatever you are thinking you are just as free as the rest of us to share. I know this must be hard for you since it has not been long since you completed your knight training” Arthur says gently. Mordred still has to stop himself from bodily flinching. He had been stuck somewhere between relieved and disappointed that he had not been asked to share his opinion.

Despite feeling torn about speaking up since he realized what was happening he still had no idea what to do. More likely than not his druid heritage and magic would be revealed before this was over. Mordred knew it would be better if he admitted it before they got there but the idea of revealing himself was terrifying. He couldn’t help but feel alone. Aithusa probably wouldn’t help him, her Dragonlord hated him.

He had to stop himself from shaking his head physically as he gathered his thoughts. His anxiety reaching new peaks as he realizes he has been silent for a suspicious amount of time.

“No one will blame you if you disagree, Mordred,” Said the Queen, sweetly misunderstanding his hesitation, “Hearing all sides helps only gives us a more informed opinion”.

Appreciation fills him nonetheless despite his dread, “Thank you my Lady but it is quite the opposite. It is just… difficult to say what is on my mind” Mordred said carefully. 

Gwaine and Percival exchanged looks, “Mordred did you have someone you cared for killed for their magic?” Percival asked carefully. 

Mordred couldn’t hide his flinch as the memory of his father’s life force ending, the many raids on the druid camps, and all the friends he saw die flashed before him. 

The faces around him fell. There was more than one wince from the Knights. Mordred felt Aithusa brush against his consciousness in support. He was surprised at the gesture but he appreciated the support to ground him against the memories. 

Mordred mustered his courage before it could fail him, “I don’t think you remember but I met you as a child Sire”, As if confirming he forgot, Arthur gave him a look that was equal parts confusion and trepidation, “You helped me once. The guards were looking for me and you helped me get out of the city” Mordred said hoping he would remember without him having to explain.

The knights and the Queen looked to Arthur with confusion. Luckily or unluckily, Arthur had a dawning realization on his face, “You’re the druid boy”.

Quickly everyone’s head whipped back around to Mordred. Gwaine let out a low whistle.

Mordred nodded. He couldn’t stop the fear that made his hands shake but it was too late to take it back now. 

“I cannot believe I didn’t recognize you. Why did you come back let alone become a knight?” His tone held an interesting mix of genuine curiosity and suspicion that Mordred felt was probably deserved. 

“You saved me then and you made peace with the druids. I believe you can bring a future where there is even more acceptance between our people. One without so much fear and suspicion. Morgana had sheltered me back then and I was thankful to you both. However she lost the compassion she once had. I may be a druid but my allegiance is with you. I am sorry I did not tell you but when I realized you didn’t recognize me, I wasn’t sure what your reaction would be” Mordred admitted. 

Arthur nodded and seemed to consider his words. The Queen gave him a reassuring smile and he tried to take it to heart. 

After a moment Arthur spoke, “You saved my life from Morgana and have proven yourself as a knight. If nothing else you have the chance to earn my trust honestly Mordred. However you must understand why this is suspicious”. 

Mordred nodded feeling relieved despite the guilt he felt. He still hasn't admitted to having magic. He knew he had to say it and yet, “Thank you Sire. I understand. That is more than I could ask for”. 

Mordred closed his eyes in shame. He just didn’t want to see anyone’s expressions. He knew he should say he had magic but this was all too much. He knew he could die for admitting he had magic. He felt he should also confirm Merlin’s magic so they could come to a real decision but what if they thought he was in league with Aithusa and Morgana? How could he say ‘Oh actually I have magic and so does Merlin! In fact he is a legend among magic users! We call him Emrys and many have sworn allegiance to him. I didn't swear to him but to Arthur because EMRYS TRIED TO KILL ME AS A CHILD. It’s okay though because we aren’t trying to kill each other anymore even though he hates me for whatever reason?’ Yeah that will go real well. He wouldn’t be surprised if Gwaine found a way to stab him even without his sword before he even got past the Merlin hates me part. 

“Can you answer some of our questions about magic then?” Elyan asked tentatively, shocking Mordred out of his inner panic. Surprisingly, while being shocked none of the knights appeared to be outright rejecting him. Leon seemed slightly off-put but the others seemed more curious than anything. 

“I will do my best. I understand if you do not take my word for it” Mordred said looking to Arthur for permission to continue. 

At Arthur’s faint nod, “Firstly I can confirm that a spell to look back on memories does exist. To be used to look at one’s whole life is rare but sometimes it is used to help younger ones understand history through their own eyes or more rarely to find or disprove guilt in a crime. I did not hear this spell when casted but the descriptions of them match our experience”, Mordred paused to make sure everyone was following. 

The King and Queen exchanged bleak expressions at this but motioned for him to continue, “I can also confirm people can be born with magic. From birth however, is rare. Most discover their magic around the time of puberty. Though earlier and later in life is not unheard of” Mordred explained.

“Can anyone have magic?” The Queen asked.

“Anyone has the potential but you are more likely to be born with magic if a close family member has magic”.

The Queen nodded sadly, “Then a childhood like that is not unrealistic”.

Mordred frowned looking away, “No but” Mordred faltered a bit, unsure how to continue, “Most non-magical parents would not take the risk of keeping a magical child. Even if they didn’t believe the child was born evil or cursed the threat of execution is not often considered worth the risk of keeping the child. They may not think the child would have any life worth living. They don’t know how to teach control and could be dangerous for everyone even without execution. I saw many children given to the druids for that reason, though I would imagine some were-” Mordred cut himself off after looking back up to the horrified gazes of those around him. 

Guinevere looked ready to cry, “Those poor children”.

Arthur wrapped his arm around her and rubbed her arm comfortingly. 

He swallowed before he continued, “You’ll have to forgive us for still researching it properly when we are freed but can magic corrupt?”

Mordred shook his head, “That is complicated. Magic itself cannot corrupt. It simply is and it is. It’s a part of nature and a part of everything whether it is typically considered magical or not. Power however, power can corrupt as quickly as the need for vengeance”.

Arthur nodded as he continued to comfort his wife, “Thank you for sharing this Mordred. It could not have been easy for you”. 

There was a moment of silence before Elyan asked, “What do you think Gwen?”

The Queen had composed herself quite well, “I cannot help but feel conflicted. I trust Merlin but I don’t trust magic. It has hurt so many and caused so much death. I blamed magic for the death of my father and for Morgana turning against us. I am confused but I think I need to see this,” she sighed, “I just want to ask Merlin. I can’t stand the thought of him thinking he was a monster growing up. I don’t think I could ever consider him a monster, magic or not”.

Mordred wondered how often Merlin dreamed of hearing his friend say just that.

Gwaine shook his head, “I have to say I’m glad he isn’t here. I think it would be cruel to make him watch this”.

Aithusa mentally brushed against him and Mordred turned to look around right as she started to approach them. 

“I do not mean to interrupt you all but if you have no questions I think we should continue. There is much to get through” Aithusa said, looking truly apologetic. 

They all exchanged glances. Arthur must have seen something in someone’s expression because he gave a slight resigned breath, “I still do not trust you or appreciate being kidnapped to watch what may or may not be my manservant’s memories but continue if you must”.

Aithusa’s apologetic expression turned slightly exacerbated but she nodded and the world turned white.  
___________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to reveal Mordred later but then he went and did it early. I hope you like it anyways and please forgive me for the lack of Merlin. Also I know it is a bit shorter than the other chapters but I will do my best to make the next one longer.


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